ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

Values:

Acceptance, Openness, Understanding, Equality, Reciprocity.

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No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments.
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Mark NSFW content accordingly.
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Respectful venting, including dealing with oppressive neurotypical culture, is okay.
Discussing other neurological problems like autism, anxiety, ptsd, and brain injury are allowed.
Discussions regarding medication are allowed as long as you are describing your own situation and not telling others what to do (only qualified medical practitioners can prescribe medication).

Encouraged:

Funny memes.
Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
Questions on confusing situations.
Seeking and sharing support.
Engagement in our values.

Relevant Lemmy communities:

Neurodivergent Life Hacks

lemmy.world/c/adhd will happily promote other ND communities as long as said communities demonstrate that they share our values.

founded 1 year ago

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MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world

MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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rejection anxiety and real pain (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Mighty@lemmy.world to c/adhd@lemmy.world

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Hey there. I am incredibly sad, downright depressed and mentally exhausted.

I wanted to celebrate my birthday yesterday for the first time (maybe ever?) with lots of nice people. I invited about 30-50 people. Some, I invited personally, some just casually through groups. Lots of those people I thought of as somehow close and friendly.

I exhausted myself in the effort of preparing the party, I rented a room, I prepared photos, activities, food, music, and just put a lot of mental energy into the planning. I have been planning it for about 2 months, invited those who were most important to me back then even.

5 people showed up.

I am devastated. I was always so anxious about my birthday and never celebrated it. I think I removed myself from groups a lot in my life. And only the last two years, I've started to understand my diagnosis and how to communicate with people. This throws all my anxiety and pain back into my body and brain.

I don't know how to deal with it. Especially I don't know how to interact with the people that were important to me and who didn't show (or those who didn't even cancel). My past behaviour was burning down all the bridges. I don't think I should do that. But I also don't know how to pretend like it doesn't hurt....

Any advice about rejection anxiety and ... well, real rejection?

Thank you.

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[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (5 children)

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that quality trumps quantity. Don’t look at it as right or wrong; good or bad. Think about it as what met your expectations, and what didn’t. Take what didn’t meet your expectations, and learn from it. Don’t burn your bridges with those who couldn’t make it; they may have forgotten, or something came up. They deserve the benefit of the doubt. Finally, focus on the positives: you had five people show up for you! That’s awesome!

[–] Mighty@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Thanks for the perspective. I don't know what to learn from it. Reading the comments here makes me think that many of us learn the same dark lessons: don't socialise, stay alone.

But again: how do I respond to "how was the partyyyy?!"(Big smiles)

[–] slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

"It was a bit of a bust, haha. But the six of us had a good time. How was your weekend?"

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