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If I had a nickel for every time someone says "this person's being a huge jerk to me but I think they might be neurodivergent"
(lemmy.world)
Regular reminder that being an asshole is not a symptom of any form of neurodivergence. (You can replace “neurodivergent” with depressed, anxious, bipolar, etc. and the diagram works equally well)
ETA: social faux pas, awkwardness, and genuine symptoms of neurodivergence don’t make you an asshole. I shouldn’t have to say this? An “asshole” is someone who enacts a pattern of abusive, controlling, harassing, and/or harmful behavior with no remorse or concern for how other people are affected.
I think a fair number of self-proclaimed "neurodivergent" folks just like it because: a) They think it's a free pass to be an asshole b) They think it indicates some sort of superpower with no downsides and that they are superior to "normal" people.
Knowing some clearly sincerely neurodivergent people I tend to be highly skeptical when people assert that status in an interaction where I wouldn't otherwise be able to tell.
Masking exists you know. Just because you can hide it doesn't mean there isn't more under the surface. This is more of a Autism thing but I think some ADHD people also mask.
So, for some honesty, I feel like there's been a culture of folks treating "neurotypical" almost like a slur, like "neurodivergent" means better and thus folks thinking they need a diagnosis.
I know someone that self-diagnosed as autistic and was very excited to "finally make it formal" and shopped for a therapist that was qualified to diagnose and had even diagnosed a friend of theirs as on the spectrum. They were so pissed when after a couple of months of sessions the therapist continued to decline to issue a diagnosis. They couldn't just be normal. I think most people I've heard personally declare themselves to be neurodivergent to be roughly in this camp.
I think popular internet culture is teaching people that a normal person has zero struggles with things like getting out of bed in the morning or being on time, and that if you have any whiff of not liking to do some unpleasant part of daily life then you are neurodivergent. It also tends to teach that neurodivergent people are smarter. I think this serves to dilute the reality of those with more serious issues. Similar to how a flood of "service animals" has diminished the experience of those with sincere need for them.
Genuinely, as someone who's been on both the moderating and recieving end of communal moderation as a traumatized trans and disabled person, this topic is an iceberg. Social osratcization and bannishment shouldnt be weilded heavy handedly.
If you feel so oppressed, be glad that people empathize with you for your congruence with mental state, brain chemisty and so much more that we barely even have words much less proper understanding at large for, which is all lumped in to "neurodivergent", and that your every choice is not medicalized and psychoanalyzed for being so bold as to be out about it.
Im over the respectability politics ☮️