this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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[–] ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If anything this narrative of "oh God just shut up" invalidates OUR feelings about being gaslit for trying to fucking help.

This entire comment is a whole new level of whiny misogynist cringe. This person is so incredibly worked up about a woman wanting to be supported and heard that if they weren't such an asshole, people might actually feel bad for them.

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is it actually wanting to be supported if you don't want support, just to bitch and moan about a problem that has a solution?

Why should you be supported and heard when you're complaining about a problem caused by someone not being able to solve 2+2?

There is an answer, it has a simple implementation, it will fix the problem, and you're getting mad it was offered because "I just want to be heard!"

This isn't the fucking MeToo movement where women are being spoken over and shut up by institutional violence, this is women deciding feeling valid is more important than addressing the fucking problem that's making them feel whatever feelings they think need validating more than the problem needs solving.

"Why can't we just enjoy the problem a bit?" BECAUSE IT IS A FUCKING PROBLEM, IT BY DEFINITION IS NOT SOMETHING ANYONE ENJOYS, JUST FUCKING SOLVE THE PROBLEM AND STOP GASLIGHTING PEOPLE FOR OFFERING SOLUTIONS TO IT.

Just because women do it does not mean it is a healthy and valid response to a situation, and this kvetch about "solutions bad" is the crowning example of this.

We heard the problem, we are supporting you by offering help to solve the problem. You are the one invalidating shit by rejecting solutions in the name of continuing to have a problem to feel valid and complain about.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sometimes people just want to talk about what they are going through. There's nothing wrong with that. If they want help solving it, they will ask.

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Ok but getting upset if a solution is offered because "can't you just listen to me‽"

Is well beyond fair to whoever you have conscripted as your sounding board. At that point it's not just venting about what you're going through, it's attacking them for daring to empathize in a way you didn't tell them you didn't want.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Huh. An interrobang in the wild.