This would be way funnier if the age was revealed at the end.
be me
balls deep in milf
guy catches me
drags me out of bed by my foot
cuts my dick with a knife
couldn't walk for 2 years
0 yo
this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
487 points (95.7% liked)
Greentext
4452 readers
506 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
My eyes skipped right over the 0 yo part, and it was quite droll
Couldn’t walk for 2 years is a good enough hint that it’s a newborn.
You just call your own mom a milf...?
Hell yeah, my mom’s a milf. A matriarchal introducer of love and fun.
Just for good meassure I've searched the term and it seems like people kind of forgot it's an acronym. Most definitions just say 'attractive older woman'.
Which is what I thought cougar described. Kids these days!
Edit: this has created a short comment chain that I adore..
No, a cougar is specifically on the prowl for fresh, young meat.
Where?
In your city.
THOSE ADS WERE REAL!?
well, yes! Hurry up! Get your cougar!
I thought cougar was for women actively hunting for prey.
Even older part isn't relevant anymore. A 22 year old with a toddler is called milf.
THAT'S NOT WHAT IT MEANS.
Yes it is, she's a mother
Nope.
MILF is someone who is considered attractive by peers of her children. Think Stacey's mom. So the theoretical milf can't be younger than 30.
You're right. American Pie corroborates your findings.
Of course it does. That was when the word still hadn't lost its meaning.
His name is Oedipus.
Freud thought so
I bet you also cried. What a cuck
Didn’t learn to walk until age 2?
What, you think he came outta the pussy drawing Mozart? At age 6, he was born without a mouth.
cuts my dick with a knife
...what?
Male genital mutilation, or Circumcision in American English
Ah, got it. Thanks.
In America and other Muslim countries, they mutilate the genitals of baby boys upon being born
First step of being a real man is getting your dick cut clean off. Everybody knows that
A real man would never have had the dick to begin with.
your body is touching a dick 24/7. super gay
Circumcision
what is this google ass font
Calls his own mom a milf. Most sane 4channer.
That is NOT a proper Haiku. 5-7-5, dude!
Been there
Is the MHLF....his own?