WIIHAPPYFEW

What I’m feeling is

• most remaining hipsters joined the techbro hive by covid
• ~~they aren’t COMPLETELY dead, just completely localized to Portland, which appears to be continuously larping the obama era zeitgeist~~
• ~~can any Portland hexcubs confirm that? (and also explain where all the cool stuff is, because if I were one of the actual good and grimy artists from there that I follow on Twitter, I would’ve ditched that city long ago)~~
• checking again, Portland seems to have gotten better (thank fuck)
• pretty sure dimes square (the red scare pod autonomous region) was sprung out of a temporally displaced stray seed of the culture watered by too many esoteric conservative think tanks
• is dimes square still a thing cause god I hope not
• Assholes with too many crypto startup ideas have been handed the baton of gentrification. Pax Gastropubia has passed, but its cultural ghosts will linger on. The five minimalist dispensaries on the same block with fake neon lights inside will go under from sheer market oversaturation, the exposed brick walls with fake vines at the downtown “dive” bar may be painted over within a decade, but it won’t bring back the community that was there before- the last lesbian bar in the metropolitan area, the imports store that moved to the very edge of the city limits, the cafe that would pass for a cigar shop at first glance. All that remains is an allusion to the neighborhood’s “vibrant history” on its Google Maps description.
• Decades from now, the plasticine mixed use complexes will be condemned, their poor build quality (no matter whether the apartments above the shops were billed as affordable or luxurious) being deemed a threat to safety. A worker taking out the wiring for recycling stumbles upon a long sealed room.
• He turns on his flashlight. There’s a bowling lane (with cords to pull up the pins), a lone pinball machine in the corner, and too many decals with 80s movie references to count. The fake weathered vintage wallpaper is a vague hybrid of early 60s pastels and late 60s geometric shapes. You can faintly hear Macklemore out of an overhead speaker.
• He’s cleared out 5 restaurants with these exact motifs in the past week.
• Why did we allow 2010s vibes to get this bad?

CW: Depictions of extreme violence. This is a video about 24 (2001-10), after all.

(CW for potentially lethal levels of fratbro sexism and for coercion for a guy to eat literal dog shit)

How the fuck did society let Manswers proceed

GTA IV was a documentary

Alternate NG link (are you happy now comrade bot?)

Has the national news even touched this shit wtf

It’s okay though because it’ll be eclipsed by every subsequent year anyway

Music to get launched out of windshields in GTA to

Turn down the volume before listening btw lol