gondaily

At this point in the NBA season, the Golden State Warriors find themselves tied for the first seed in the Western conference with the Phoenix Suns and the OKC Thunder with a 7-1 record; for much of the NBA media and for the vast majority of fans

including the peeps over in the bay

this is a very surprising development. To add to the surprise, this incredibly winning record also puts them in second place in the league, surpassed only by... Cleveland?!

It's not that people expected the Cavaliers to be a bad team; on the contrary, many talking heads and fans alike expected them to be a solid team

some few hopefuls even selected them as championship contenders this season, expecting the Mitchell-Garland connection to improve and Mobley to finally take his much anticipated offensive jump

but nobody (other than perhaps-not-so-delusional-after-all Cavs fans) thought to put them in the undisputed number one position in the league, brilliantly undefeated after 9 games.

Something that people get to hold against the Warriors is their schedule, which was actually the easiest in the league up until their game with Boston.

Of course they have such a great record, they're beating up on the bottom feeders!

I'd debate how "weak" the Pelicans (currently sitting at a dreadful 3-6) and the Rockets (5-3) really are, but this sort of criticism isn't unfounded; truth be told, they weren't facing contenders, or even teams people expected to make some noise in the playoffs. After their sound defeat of the Boston Celtics, however, the noise started to quiet down. There were still some justifications, some flags to be waived

sure, the Celtics were missing two of their best players, and it was just one game, but the Warriors beat them without hitch and, might I add, they are sitting pretty near the top of the league on both offence and defence.

Still, the Cavs don't even have that. Their early-season matchups included the Bucks, the Knicks, and the Lakers. All three of those teams do happen to be underperforming expectations, but the point stands: they didn't get their pristine record by beating up on scum and fluking out the championship favourites; they got it by being better than everyone else.

As tonight approaches, the Warriors come face to face with reckoning; a scintillating clash or low-sample-size NBA narratives coagulates under the bright lights of... Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse? Dumbass name for an arena, geez, I wish I didn't know that... Regardless, fans will scream and shout and something's about to happen.

There are no ties, and the only draws will be chalk outlines of a team, dead on the floor.

I'm an unapologetic Warriors fan; I don't hide my affiliations. I want my pookie-bear Curry to win and my sweetie-pie Hield to hold his hand as they gleefully skip towards NBA greatness. I want the Cavs undefeated streak to shatter into a million pieces and I want to bask in the scattering light they'll reflect.

However, anxiety haunts me and weighs on my breath and my heart...

The Cavs are missing three meaningless pieces and their players are coming off incredible performances, save for Evan Mobley who fouled out of their matchup with the Pelicans.

The Warriors, on the other hand, are missing THREE HUGE PIECES. Draymond, Melton, and Podz are all expected to be out for tonight. Green and Podz might make it, and Melton has been out most of the season so it's hard to say if he'd've made a difference anyway, but still. Undermanned, away game in the middle of a long road-trip, facing a confident and undefeated juggernaut... Lord have mercy.

On the good side, the Warriors actually had a pretty decent outing against the Celtics: Curry and Hield balled out, Trayce and Looney showed up, Moody as well, Wiggins did OK, and Dray did his thing as well; all this facing the Celtics, the championship favourites, tied for 2nd in the East, and posting top 10 in the league in both offence and defence.

How can they beat the Cavs? I don't know.

Looking at Cleveland's stats, I'm having a hard time figuring out what exactly the Dubs can do. The Cavs are absurdly efficient from everywhere on the floor and defend incredibly well. The one thing I can see is that they haven't faced a three-point juggernaut just yet, so maybe that's a way to exploit their defence. On the other end of the court, though, the Warriors are giga-supremely-super-mega-absurdly-fucking screwed and it's not even funny. The only (only) person in the whole roster with a snowflake's chance in the deepest burning caves of solar hell of stopping Mobley and Allen is TJD, which means nobody on the roster has a fucking chance. The Cavs are gonna abuse the Warriors size mismatch until they go back limping to SanFran; except, of course, they'll actually go limping to fucking OKC to fight the 2nd in championship odds this season, because of course they would.

Here's my projection for tonight's game: Cavs win.

I want to bet Warriors, but I just can't. The Cavs have too good a defence and too mismatched an offence for the Dubs to actually match them. The only way Curry and Co. get away with the win is if Kenny Atkinson doesn't know how to guard the line and somehow Lindy Waters turns into Prime Curry and Kuminga turns into Giannis. Weirder things have happened (looking at you, Malachi Flynn).

We shall see.

I might've mentioned this before, but maybe I haven't; regardless, I'm an engineering researcher and, right now, I'm working in the field of extraterrestrial construction. Like, on the moon and mars, that kind of thing.

I have no clue if that sounds interesting or weird or whatever, but I'm very neutral on it. It's cool

to some extent

but at the same time it's just a research field; there's no guarantee this is going to go anywhere. More likely than not, it won't go anywhere. Whatever the case, I am thinking of what pathways there are for when I graduate, as I'm getting my PhD, right now. The big one is a job at the ESA. That one seems incredibly unlikely and terribly far-fetched, but maybe, right?

When I think about the future like this, I'm always left at a crossroads. I see my life going in so many different directions; or rather, I can think of so many different directions I could make my life go. I'm not sure if the ESA is a possibility at all, not at this point, but what if, right?

Then I find myself thinking about all sorts of things. It's overwhelming.

I think this might be because, at the end of the day, I know where I want to get. I know the goal. All of this is just the path, and I really don't care about the path, as long as it gets me where I want to go. It feels weird to think about "uprooting" my life to move cities so I can get my PhD and then "uproot" my life again to move to France or something to work at the ESA and then "uproot" my life again to finally retire.

I feel so silly talking about this.

Trump was elected for president of the US. I wasn't really expecting this, actually; I know the online circles I frequent are eco-chambers

hell, I make them that way

but I did believe I had looked into polling and predictions from all over, or from people without partisan affiliation, but I guess that kind of stuff just isn't very effective at predicting stuff at all.

I hope the American people like what they voted in. This time he actually got the popular vote too.

Regardless, now I have to look in.

For starters, my investments are doing rather well; I doubt it has much to do with Donald Trump being elected, specifically, and more to do with the politically tumultuous election season being over. Still, I appreciate it. I wish I had money to buy more before the election, but that just wasn't realistic for me, unfortunately.

Next, my national elections. The presidential election is actually 2 years from now

which doesn't matter too much as our president is a mostly symbolic position

and the government is in 4 years, since the election was this year. I'm gonna keep an eye on national policy and whatnot... I like some things that this current government has been doing, at least that, but we'll see. I don't think they're necessarily the right choice.

I'm actually feeling pretty good. I was stressed for no reason over this election, I'm not even American... I guess I should stop paying so much attention to international politics.

Back on the grind though: items for life. I love talking and thinking about this.

Tallying up the things I own that I intend to keep forever yields not very many things. My jeans (which, admittedly I'll probably end up selling as I lose weight and buy different ones a size or two down, but in spirit the jeans are there), my wallet, my backpack, my chopsticks. That's it. Isn't that crazy? I feel like I should own more "for life" stuff. Partly, I have few things because I live in a tiny room in a shared house, so there's really not much space or need for this kind of stuff. Also, things that one buys for life tend to be rather expensive, on account of the high-quality materials and warranty programs.

Speaking of which, I'd like to put out a request for items with life-time warranties. I found that Stanley has a lifetime warranty on their products, so I'm actually considering buying water bottle from them. Still, they're so expensive... I don't know if I can justify that. Whatever, if anyone's actually reading this, do me the favour of mentioning some long-lasting, high-quality product you love with life-time warranties.

And with that, I'm out!

I felt a little better today than I've been feeling.

I ate like garbage though. Skipped lunch and then had a bunch of not-so-good-for-you stuff. It's fine, but it's annoying.

I've been interested in blockchain technology recently. Still trying to learn as much as I can about it; it's very interesting.

I'm interested in the US election, right now. Don't really have much of my own skin on the line, though I would prefer the non-fascist side to win both on principle and because of the US's influence on the world stage.

This whole political vibe got me to read up on some of my own national parties and whatnot. I'm not particularly surprised to learn I already knew who I want to vote for.

It's always sad when I see, on the news, that people in my country are actually pretty pro-Trump, in relative terms. About 25%, which is a lot for Europe. Our third political force right now is also right-wing, far-right some would say.

Oh well.

I'm back in my room. My mum's birthday is coming up. My friend and a cousin's birthdays, as well.

Overall, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed today (unrelated to the birthdays).

I've been feeling very tired for a few days now, though I feel like I've been getting decent amounts of sleep. Maybe not.

Today I'll undersleep again, I already know it. We'll see...

I never remember my dreams, but I have a very active imagination. I often walk around my room (or apartment) seeing and hearing things in my head: magic battles, tense political discussions, quiet family time; I find all of this very enjoyable. I have a few running storylines.

Perhaps my favourite one is about starting a modern dynasty

not in the royal sense, but just as in getting really rich and having a bunch of rituals. I think rituals are cool, for one, but also very useful. I read this thing once

and I'm not gonna fact check this

that groups that partook in religious sacrifice, such as setting aside water that was not for drinking or food that was not for eating (offerings, for example), actually ended up being more prosperous than groups that didn't partake in that kind of ritualistic behaviour; we don't fully understand why that's the case, of course, but one could imagine that the ability and habit of working with less than you have, surviving on less than you can make, delaying satisfaction, results in people that can make more and last longer. This to say, sometimes weird rituals that feel like they have no meaning or sense actually hold some hidden advantage that can only be reaped by partaking in what seems silly at first.

Because I think rings are kinda cool, signet rings ended up being incorporated into my daytime delusions, specifically the ritualistic passing down of a ring, the forging, the authority that it commands simply by being on someone's finger. What I love most about this is that signet rings aren't useful any more. They used to carry a seal that would be imprinted onto wax for official correspondence, but now they only symbolize

or signify

someone that would have the authority to sign a letter with the crest of the family. To a lesser extent, the ring is also tied to the moment it was forged; if the wearer gets fatter

fills up with greed

the ring won't fit right, if the wearer gets skinnier

loses sense

the ring won't fit right. It becomes an anchor to a moment, to a state in which the wearer was once deemed worthy.

The particular concept I came up with was to forge a ring for every first born of the family

the so-called mainline

and that this mainline would have a meeting every 5 years on a remote island, preceded by a large banquet where everyone in the family is invited. The meeting itself would be in a closed-off room, and the ring must be taken off and handed to who they trust most. The point of this ritual would be to simultaneously reinforce the idea that it is necessary to rely on others and to signify hierarchy; if you get a ring, you're the person that should be tasked with deciding what to do whenever a decision must be made and the ring-bearer isn't available

that sort of thing. I think it's cute.

This idea ends up taking many decades, centuries, in my head, so it blends with other smaller storylines. One I think is really cool is the one with the ravens. I think ravens are incredible animals, and the idea of befriending a flock really speaks to me. I had this idea to put a little ring on ravens of different flocks

my contact points

and just befriend them. As the years go by, the ageing ravens would come to be accompanied by a fledgling and motion to the ring: they selected an heir, and were guiding me to the next generation of human-raven communication. Isn't that cool?! I think so.

Another one is the fae. I'm not particularly superstitious, and I don't really believe these sorts of fairytales, or any sort of fairytale, really, but when there's a simple fix to an extremely unlikely

virtually impossible

situation, why wouldn't I just prepare myself, just in case? I sound like a doomsday prepper, except, from my understanding, they actually think the end is nigh or something. Regardless, when people ask for my name, I don't give it, I tell them; that sort of minutiae. In this specific delusion, fae and demons and all sort of magical and fantastical less-than-nice beings turn out to be real, and decide to make themselves known, more or less. The details of how the world came to be the way it is in my mind is never made clear, but the truth of the matter is that the existence and danger of these beings is broadly recognized and acknowledged, though the world seems to function relatively normally, save for some additional precautions.

In this situation, my weird paranoia and general preparedness resulted in a high interest by governmental organizations in my "expertise" on the matter but, in typical me fashion, I vehemently refuse to help them because "why the hell would I put myself in a position to interact with the fae?!"

It's a comedy.

Then, three people show up at my doorstep: a fae, a vampire, and a secret service agent, asking for my help in forming and guiding a specialized ahuman taskforce for the neutralization of magical beings, à la CSM. And all the other shows, books, and whatnots that follow this cliché plot-line. Still, I love thinking about it. When they knock on my door, I come out wearing headphones blasting Katy Perry, steel and silver necklaces with pendants of all the major religions of the world, a cold metal bat, some wooden staked on a utility belt, and a VTuber ill-fitting shirt; it's ridiculous, but this is my kind of humour. I'm looking forward to thinking about this one more.

That's it for today!

Went back home today.

The travel was great, went fast. I was just on TikTok the whole time, pretty much.

Ate decently well, on arrival. A bit too much though, I was a little excited. My little brother isn't here for the weekend, which sucks, but at least I have my grandma.

Feeling good.

I'm tired...

I'll be going home tomorrow. It's a holiday here, so I'll be going much earlier than usual. I'll have lunch there, save some money.

That's about it, for now. Not thinking straight.

Watched a livestream today, again. Had lots of fun, as per usual.

Did some Bitcoin things as well, fixed my wallets and whatnot. There's still so much I don't understand about these systems, I feel half-blind. Learning is hard!

Still, I think things'll work out.

My right hand gets colder faster than my left hand, for some reason. It happened yesterday, and it happened again today. I can think of reasons

other than there being something wrong with me

for this to be happening, but it's still upsetting.

Now, to the title.

I'm not a proponent of AI, necessarily; I think AI art is weird

both morally and aesthetically

and I don't think AI can be trusted to make huge decisions yet

think medical diagnosis, legal analysis, research. Moreover, I find the idea of a general artificial intelligence utterly terrifying. As a scientist (and I do consider myself a man of science), I can't help but marvel at the possibilities, but as a person? It's horrifying. Just because something is scary, doesn't mean it's bad; still, this kind of thing is extremely dangerous and unpredictable, so I think it's best to be sceptical and increasingly cautious.

What I'd like to talk about, though, are AI search engines; or rather, AI as a search engine.

I use ChatGPT (and Perplexity) extensively when I'm looking for specific information or for something to bounce ideas off of. I think they're great tools for that. It's still important to be careful, to double check what it says (it's often wrong or inaccurate), but these tools provide great jumping off points.

More and more, browsers are adding AI features. At first, I was sceptical, but more and more I welcome this kind of change, as long as it's optional. A big problem I have (chronic) is that I hate bloat. I hate when my browser has or does things that I don't want or need it to do. Here's a screenshot of my Firefox as I write this:

Rather minimal, right?

This is what I'm talking about. I want my stuff to be what I want, and nothing more. Very GNU of me, I know.

Do I want an AI assistant? No.

Do I want an easy way to reach an AI? Yes, actually. I do want a button or a shortcut or something like that that I can use to just ask Perplexity or something. Is AI integration the best way to do this? I don't know, I'm not a software engineer (not that software engineers know, either, but I digress).

I'm looking forward to seeing how technology changes.

Did another session of tutoring today. It went much better than last time. I'm rich! Not really, of course, but this one hour damn near paid for my food for the week.

Listened to the new Tyler album. Amazing, of course.

My hand is freezing as I type, it's actually hard to move my fingers.

NBA was OK, but I ended up falling asleep before the game I wanted to watch... Also, Curry got injured :C that really sucks, I was looking forward to this season.

I think I'm a very food motivated person.

This might be because I'm not very materialistic

despite my constant thinking about buying stuff I don't need lol

so I see food as a valuable reward. It's weird, in a way. I value long-term purchases: my backpack, I bought some chopsticks recently because my old ones were getting all yucky, I have a wallet with life-time warranty, stuff like that; and yet the one thing that I love the most is a consumable. Something that doesn't even last 30 minutes. That's funny.

If I had to come up with the things I want the most right now and for the next year, number one would definitely be obnoxiously large sums of capital. Number two, though, would probably be food. I've been thinking about this one pita place I know that's just so incredibly delicious. I don't really have access to it right now, which kinda sucks, but I might actually eat some this weekend, or even Friday.

I often think about opening a restaurant. I used to say that my dream was to work at a cafe, actually. It was because I found working at a cafe to be a very romantic profession, but I did end up going on a different path. I'm not a great cook, either. Regardless, food has always been on my mind. I love food so much.

I feel I'm not making much sense...

I'm watching the NBA, by the way. The Warriors play too late for me to watch, but I'll at least catch a few interesting games. The Hawks and the Thunder play tonight, that's gonna be sick.

I wonder if I do some sort of motivation system with food, I can work on the things I want more. Money is a huge issue for me as well, though... I don't know.

Fiverr is overflowing with bots and scammers, it's crazy! Most messages I get are clearly bots, but quite a few are actual people trying to get my email; it's crazy. It's really frustrating too, when it's an actual person that shows interest in what you're offering, but then turns around and just asks for an email. When you say no they sometimes try to push, but eventually just ghost when they realize you're not gonna give them any way to contact you outside of the app.

Now, the NBA! The regular season is underway. I haven't caught a single game

though I have watched a bunch of highlights ---, today will be my first game. Unfortunate that it's the Clippers (yuck), but hopefully Jokic makes it worth my time.

I ate at BK today, missed that, super delish as per usual. I considered going for the pita again, but decided against it. The pita is cheaper

on account of my membership card

but it feels like less food; and there's no refillable drinks. Is it worth the almost €1.5 extra for the BK? Now that I think about it, HELL NO! Yikes, bad move... Whatever. Next time (if there is a next time) I'll definitely go for the pita.

That's about it for now. Feeling a little peckish, as I usually do, but holding strong. Did all my laundry today too, and cleaned my room. Felt good. It feels much bigger now, without all the clothes on the floor. Also did some dishes I'd been putting off.

I checked my investments today... I really need to stop. I'd been doing good until a few days ago, when I got paid, but I've been checking it again. I won't check tomorrow! I need to keep my mind off it.

Oh also: I took a long walk today. Well, "long" for my standards. Just over 2 hours to "burn" the BK calories. No clue if I burned anything... I didn't get my heart racing, but I did sweat quite a bit. Regardless, I did it for fun and enjoyment. The problem with cycling is that I always feel like I need to be wearing a helmet and have my ears free. When I walk, I can have my headphones on; that's much more enjoyable of an experience.

OK, now that's it!

I've recently become enamoured with bonsai.

I think the thing I like about it is the time; it takes a very long time to grow a bonsai from scratch. It takes sustained effort and care, thinking ahead, planning, and waiting. Sitting on your hands.

It could be a cool thing to leave to the next generation; not that I plan on having a next generation, but just in case it'd be nice to have.

I ate lots of noodles today because the canteen was on strike. Extremely annoying, let me tell you... The menu sounded delicious too.

Better luck next time.

The Fiverr payment is gonna take 2 weeks to clear, and I've already spent about half the tutoring payments... If I keep with the tutoring, I'll buy a subscription to the tutoring website to see if i can get more students. That could be cool.

And with that, I'm off.

I've completed my first session of tutoring and have scheduled the next one.

This is great for me.

Kinda skipped lab today

not that I had much to do anyway

but felt a bit weird, considering I'm trying to improve my work ethic. Still, I was still working, just on something else.

Tomorrow and tonight I'll have to work hard on the python thing.

Let's gooo!

I've managed to make some progress in both my real work and my Fiverr work.

I'm so severely underpaid on the Fiverr thing by the way, it's not even funny! I have one more day to do it... But it's gonna be tough.

I need to review some stuff for the tutoring as well... Though I have already prepared a few things.

Feeling good.

Ate well today too. If I secure this money, I'll buy myself some falafel pita. I haven't had it in... Quite a while, at this point.

Almost forgot to write this today!

Close call.

Got a Fiverr request AND tutoring. That's gonna be €15 this week, with a possibility for €20 next week and beyond. If I score €20 a week, that's €80 a month. That's HUGE for my savings.

We'll see how that goes.

I'll have to work hard today and tomorrow to prepare for the tutoring and to finish my Fiverr request. It was a little more than I wish it was... I'm being severely underpaid, it's not even funny.

Still, it's fine.

I'll be listening to an NBA podcast and sleeping.

I'm struggling to stay focused on work...

It's OK though, I have a clear plan now, I at least know what to do. I'll get back up.

I truly think I'm obsessed with this. I find myself constantly thinking about how to optimize my life; more and more, I also find myself thinking about how to optimize my future. I think the latter is most important.

I've been watching (binging) these videos by Ramit Sethi. Cool guy, solid advice. His big thing is this concept of "Your Rich Life". Now, I haven't read his book---wherein he details this rich life thing---but I've more or less gathered what it's supposed to be from his videos. Fundamentally, it's not complicated. It really boils down to not comparing yourself to others, and instead finding what you want your life to be like, and making a plan to get there. Perhaps most importantly, he thinks the plan should be for the now, as well; meaning you should live your rich life now, and live a richer life later.

I think my rich life is chilling ad eternum. Perpetual chill, that's the kind of guy I am.

Hence my obsession with early retirement.

I think it's important to define what I mean by this, though. That's where the problems arise. I'm not so sure... I have fun watching YouTube, but it's because I have something to learn. I'm not watching just to watch---though it feels like that sometimes---but I'm learning, I'm taking in different viewpoints on these issues that I'm concerned with and trying to figure out the best approach for me. Still, what else is there. Cycling, sure... Reading, writing. I feel like I don't have many hobbies. Travelling, OK.

I can see it though, in my---forgive the cringe---mind's eye. Yuck, I hate that idiom. I'm wearing baggy jeans, basketball shoes, and a brown sweater; I'm laying on the couch, half sleeping, half listening to an NBA podcast; my little brother built a family and I get to be the cool uncle; house paid off, a boat, I'm living on the islands; I fish for lunch and sometimes dinner, I have a small garden as well with cabbage, cucumber, tomatoes, shallots, and an orange tree; I buy lots of potatoes from my neighbour; occasionally, I'll travel out to Vietnam for three months and chill in Hoi An.

That's the life I want. That's my rich life.

Right now I'm focused on getting there. I'm trying to change my health so I can live longer, working on my PhD so I can get a solid job after, changing habits so I can become the person I want to be; and I'm saving like a maniac.

Today it struck me that my rent might actually go up. It honestly hadn't occurred to me until today; goes to show how naïve I still am. I've had no indication that it might, but I just came to the realization that this price is likely not forever. It's fine, but it is annoying.

This weekend was snack-city and overeating-city. Happens, happens. It's fine. I don't know if I mentioned it, but I did lose weight to 77.8 kg. 5 kg to go for my goal. It's OK, it's my cheat weekend. I'm determined to buy more fruit and whatnot these next two weeks and also to exercise more. My goal is 2 kg loss these next 2 weeks, let's see if I can do it.

I'm also feeling that I'll finally respond to the increasingly large number of Slowly letters that I've been letting pile up...

I'm in a bit of a rut.

Today, I failed in my productivity. Not entirely, but my willpower failed; I failed myself.

Still, I think I'm building good habits, so I'll just trust the process and try to improve day over day.

Also, really not feeling Slowly... The letters I've gotten are fine, but not incredibly interesting or inspiring. I wish they were different; then again, I don't know what I was expecting.

I'm tired.

Sushi tomorrow though, exciting.

Today, I feel like talking about things I like.

I like music. One of my favourite artists, Tyler, the Creator, posted a new clip today on his YT channel. I'm happy about that, because it's pretty cool. It's for his new album, CHROMAKOPIA. I'm hyped!

I also like food. I'm actually kinda hungry, right now... I know I don't need to eat, but it still does bother me. I'll weight myself Saturday morning, possibly Friday evening and eventually write about it. I do also like getting healthier.

I like learning about other people. This Slowly thing has been pretty cool, though I think I should probably cater the people I talk to on there better. In everyday life, I talk to certain people. Well, in truth, I don't really talk to anyone in my everyday life, I guess, but when I do it's with people I like, so I should do the same on the internet.

Today, I managed to control my impulses a bit better. It wasn't perfect, by any means, and it wasn't particularly impressive, but I did it. Slowly, I'm improving. I think this is how I should approach improving my life: step by step, day by day. Today is good, tomorrow will be better, the next day will be better yet. If I falter, and one day is worse, or the worst, then I'll just try to make the day after better again.

I think I should stop checking my investments. I mean, it's not like I'll sell if it goes down, or buy more or something. I'm just checking because I'm nervous I might be wrong, I think. That's psychology, right there, and I really shouldn't do that. Logging in means I could fuck things up. Why even let that be a possibility? I'd rather not.

My goal for tomorrow is to get some work done and to not check my investments.

I can happily report today's lunch was good again, by the way. Not as good as the past few days---the tofu wasn't great, but the rice and veggies were divine---but I'm sceptical about tomorrow. It's chickpea stroganoff. What? Yeah, I mean, sure I guess. I don't know. Maybe it's great, I love chickpeas.

It rained a lot today. Not thundering, terrible rain, but just a constant thick drizzle. It was sunny too, how was it even raining?! I got wet, but it was fine.

Didn't eat snacks today.

I'll try hard again tomorrow.

I've made the executive decision to cut snacks out of my diet.

For a couple of days now, the lunch at the canteen has been incredible; looking at the menu tomorrow, this streak is likely to continue. I got a coupon for 15% off some chips, today, and I took it and went to buy some chips.

After I ate them, I thought to myself that that had been a monumentally stupid decision. It was impulsive and just wrong. Not only did I not need chips, I didn't even really want chips. It cost me just over a euro, I could afford them, but I didn't need nor want to. Why did I do it? Well, because I like chips, that's why. They didn't even taste that good, especially with the stupidity of the purchase weighting on my mind.

I could've bought bananas, or plums, or apples, or something else. There's oranges growing in the yard. I actually picked a couple big ones after eating the chips and just thought to myself, once again, how stupid of a purchase that had been. I could've just picked the oranges to begin with and skip the damned chips.

These small habits, I wager, are a symptom of a big problem I have with self-control and discipline. I watched a YouTube video today that hammered that point for me, as well.

I'm determined to change. For my future.

I have things lined up. All I have to do is bat.

I'll be trying really hard to hit, from now on. No excuses.

There was a bit of a meeting today.

Annoying, but at least there was food at the end. I ate too many sweets... I can feel the calories! But I think it's OK to have a treat. It's free anyway. I also ate a small plate of more reasonable food, so hopefully I got enough nutrients into my system instead of just sugar.

Today was a reasonable day. Lunch was delish. So, so delish. It was quinoa and sweet potato burgers with roasted potatoes and salad. I got to talk a little with my dad and my mom. I love doing that.

Let me go back to lunch, actually. Holy crap. It was so good, I can't even describe it. It's something actually pretty similar tomorrow, I'm looking forward to it. The point is, when I stop having access to these things, I need need need to learn to cook this stuff. It's actually so good, and vegetarian!

I loved my fit today as well. I like shoes, even though they're not fully worn in yet and hurt the back of my feet a little. It's OK, I guess, but not good enough for the weekend when I walk a lot more than usual. Today was a €2.40 day on food. So was yesterday. I actually already have everything bought until my next payday, save for some travels during the weekend which is €4.30. I'll have almost €50 left after all, this month. That's nuts. I can't wait to add everything up since my last paycheck to see how much I'm spending, actually. I might've made a mistake somewhere, but my full monthly expenses add up to only €365. To be fair, I got a discount on utilities, so really it's more like €380. That's still €70 under my high-end prediction.

I'm saving almost €80 monthly that I'm not investing. Should I be investing it, or is it good to have that money for fun? To spend on some eating out, sometime. Or buy something nice. Or save up for something nice! It would only take a year to afford a laptop, and only 8 months for an electric bike... About a year for a more serious bike purchase.

I'm tired.

It's only Monday, but I can't wait for the weekend.

Next weekend, I'll eat sushi. I think that's the major thing for me. I really want to eat something deliciously good.

Lunch today was tasty, but nothing too special. The tofu was absolutely banging though, it was crazy. I've never had tofu like that. It was rough and kind of dried out? Hard to explain, but the texture was amazing and it held lots of flavour. Really nice. Not sushi though.

I ate 5 plums today, I think. 1 for breakfast (rarity) and 4 for dinner. I love it. It's an investment! Buying these slightly more expensive things really does end up being good. I don't regret my plum purchase at all. I do wonder about my caloric intake, however. I'm trying to lose weight, so how much do I care about this really... But still. I think I might've had only 1000 calories today. This is slightly concerning, as I'm not really hungry.

I mean, I could eat, sure, but I could always eat. I've gotten used to the feeling of constant hunger, I can fight it. This is nothing more than that. 1000 calories though? The calories listed on the app for lunch say that it's 137 for the soup and 527 for the main course. 5 plums should be about 150. The bread was about 150 as well. In total, that's 964. The BMR calculators on the internet aren't particularly reliable, but they estimate my BMR at 1700-1800. I biked today too. Didn't really do anything else, to be fair, but still.

When I put my pants on, I felt I could go for another hole.

Also, speaking of holes, I think it's the ice tea giving me the shits. Not sure.