I avoided this comm for the most part in the past and never subbed to it because I felt a sense of imposter syndrome and that I wasn’t neurodiverse enough with my “small amount of adhd” and didn’t want to intrude on the space

As more time passes though I realize just how much that “small amount of ADHD” affects me and I was undermining a part of myself that I had overlooked in the past. So I’m subbing to the comm and am gonna be paying more attention to it going forward.

I am FINALLY going to be able to trial Adderall after taking a long break from meds and want to track how I'm doing daily. What do you do so that you can know the meds are having a positive/negative effect? What are the indicators you track?

Worksheets, your own indicators, apps, etc. would by great. I'm leaning towards making my own worksheet but idk what some of the most important things would be to keep track of.

The feeling I assumed was anxiety my whole life was gone. The uneasy feeling of dread or that I was forgetting something of terminal importance. The way stuff bounced around in my head and made me ruminate on unnecessary things. I just never had a word for it before now.

This whole time I've been in SNRIs that are supposed to help with the same things, but never quite did enough.

I'm only 2 weeks in and it isnt like taking the limitless pill or anything but even just that is a relief rn 🥹

Short version: what active hearing protection/noise cancelling in ear headphones do you use or recommend, and why?

One of the things i struggle with, without really realizing it, is sound. Theres specific sounds that are really upsetting and make me want to claw my spinal cord out of my neck, namely the sound of metal scraping ceramic. But other "normal" noise also puts a huge drain on my system, and i often dont realize this and just end up feeling exhausted and overwhelmed for no reason. Then when i plug my ears for some reason or another theres instant relief.

So im looking for some sort of (preferably in ear) solution to this issue. I dont really know where to start. I would like to have active protection against everything, that also lets voices through, but letting voices through should be togglable. Ive looked at active hearing protection and it seems to be divided into constant low thrumming sounds like machinery or short high amplitude sounds like gunshots.

I look at noise cancelling in-ear headphones and see a whole range of stuff but have no idea how to evaluate it. Given how expensive everything is, i would really rather buy one thing than try many different products.

My home has the following characteristics: constant construction from across the way, a roommate who listens to really loud music on her speakers and wont turn it down, dealing with hearing people having shouting arguments, traffic noises, etc.

Ideally these would also work for being out and about, but if i could just have some respite from these sounds in my home it would be really nice.

So, if you have used any active hearing protection or noise cancelling headphones you really like, could you tell me what they are and why you like them?

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/5307186

With the escalation in Gaza and West Bank on top of the incident I'm going to limit how much I spend on telegram, lemmy, etc. because I can get massively hyperfocussed on this shit. Feels a lot like when the Ukraine Russia war heated up and I was stuck to my phone 8 hours a day.

I'm lucky enough to have started my meds recently which are absolutely eviscerating my anxiety, but others aren't so lucky.

Maybe delete a couple of apps and limit your exposure for a couple of days so even if you DO doomscroll it's less paralysing.

The new world struggles to be born ❤️

If you are the kind of person who feels apathetic about everything but you ever remember something you cared about when you were younger, write it down. Or do it even if you aren't like that, memories are a lot less permanent than they may seem.

That was all I really wanted to shout into the void, the rest of this is just kind of venting about how I feel right now I guess. Please remove the post or let me know if this isn't the right place for this kind of thing. I've always been very bad at expressing myself and I just wanted to try in some way.

I have no idea what caused this, but for some reason today I started remembering things from my childhood that I haven't thought about for many years. Years of my life that, if someone had brought something about them up to me, I would have instantly recalled were true, but that had just been a completely forgotten void to me at the start of this week.

This kind of thing probably happens to most people at some point in their lives, but right now I feel like I am discovering that I used to be someone different and it somehow came as a genuine revelation to me. I forgot that I ever cared about anything at all.

Here's one of the things I remembered:

I know I'll never be different but in a way I am glad to remember that at some point I was. And right now I am glad I haven't killed myself, which I haven't in a long time. And I do want to hold on to that if I can.

i've wanted to talk about this for a while, but i'm not interested in any fuckass liberal takes, so i'm posting this here

also, i'm not a medical/mental health professional so feel free to call me on my bullshit. i'm genuinely interested to hear why i might be wrong

anyway

adhd and autism are social disorders

that doesn't mean that "everyone is a little autistic". that doesn't mean that "labels don't matter". that doesn't mean that we should all get off our meds. they're genuinely disorders and need to be treated as such

what it means is that they're not illnesses. these conditions are not inherently disorders, they're socially determined to be disorders. they're disorders because they make us misadjusted to our current class society, not because they're inherently harmful to our health

i'm also not saying that there aren't inherent limitations to autism or adhd, of course there are, very clearly. but limitations aren't necessarily disorders or disabling. everyone has limitations, even neurotypicals, but not everyone has mental disorders. children and the elderly have particular limitations, but neither childhood nor old age are disorders. perfectly healthy people have numerous limitations compared to other healthy people, but those limitations don't hinder their participation in our current society

this discussion frustrates me so much because it seems to be either the "labels don't matter" discourse that put me off of seeking diagnosis for over a decade or the "autism/adhd is an illness and i'm broken for having it" discourse which sometimes veers very close to eugenics and puts the blame of our suffering in our "bad genes"

being autistic and having adhd sucks and we need as much treatment as we can get and i love my meds, but this suffering is not my fault. a capitalist class society that steals our lives and grinds us to a pulp is to blame. neurotypicals just happen to be better at surviving this hell (which is exactly why they're typical). in a society designed for our wellbeing, those diagnoses would look very different

what do you think?

I'm starting Elvanse (Lisdexamfetmine) soon, and I was wondering how some people here prefer to take it? Like, do you do every day or do you take days off?

I know there's not a massive withdrawal from it like the SNRIs I take atm but I wonder if some folks prefer to have days off for whatever reason.

This is an org I came across a while back. As it says in the pic and on their homepage, they are all about "Mutual Aid and Human-Centered Learning for Neurodivergent and Disabled People".

Their 'encylopedia of difference' has a huge plethora of information on so many topics. Hope ya'll find it as helpful as I have.

"Stimpunks was forged in the quest for survival and inclusion. We are a 501(c)(3) nonprofit built by and for neurodivergent and disabled people. Stimpunks was founded in December of 2021. We are a community affair. We’re Autistic, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, Tourettes, schizophrenic, bipolar, apraxic, dyslexic, dyspraxic, dyscalculic, non-speaking, and more. We’ve collectively experienced rare diseases, organ transplants, various cancers, many surgeries and therapies, and lots of ableism and SpEd. We’ve experienced #MedicalAbleism, #MedicalMisogyny, #MedicalRacism, #MedicalTrauma, and #MedicalGaslighting. We understand chronic pain, chronic illness, and the #NEISvoid “No End In Sight Void”. We know what it’s like to be disabled and different in our systems. We know what it is like to live with barriers and what it means to not fit in and have to forge our own community. Disabled and neurodivergent people are always edge cases, and edge cases are stress cases. We can help you design for the edges, because we live at the edges. We are the canaries. We are “the fish that must fight the current to swim upstream.“

Here's a link to their burnout page, which is where I first found them from online searches.

cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/5125423

On the one hand it's kind of like hey commercials for younger people that aren't made with boomers in mind! But then on the other hand, it's a fucking anime commercial for a debilitating mental health condition.

What do I even do anymore

i am new to being aware of my ADHD and trying to unmask a bit where it's acceptable to do so. i don't know what to call it when i have been suffering more psychic pain than usual from ADHD.

for example, i yelled at my stepfather yesterday and when i apologize to him today i want to communicate that i've been struggling with being overstimulated and badly regulating my emotions for four or five days and i yelled at him partially because of that stress. usually i would just say i've been "feeling like shit" but how could i communicate the idea of like, an "episode" of adhd to him?

also, for him i don't really expect him to understand, i'm just hoping he'll accept my apology. how would you communicate the same idea with words to a partner or loved one who is actually on board with trying to understand your adhd?

thanks <3

I have been having a really tough time with emotional regulation for several months. Every slight irritation feels like fucking nails on chalkboard, where something like buying the wrong thing at the store and not noticing until I get home might make me want to scream and throw things. I don't, but a lot of the time with annoyances I just loudly swear as kind of a pressure release and when it's really bad Ive been white knuckling it so as not to hit myself or throw shit. Normally I just let out a loud "FUCK" or "GOD DAMNIT". Not screaming, but much louder than I talk

My partner is from a normal healthy family so me raising my voice or just exasperatedly saying "fuck", not at him, but at the thing, is really upsetting to him. I don't see the big deal because my mother is a fucking cyclone of screaming and chaos so I'm very tame in comparison. But, I know it's something I need to try to control, I guess, but I feel like I can't. It's just an instinctive reaction, especially when there are a couple mistakes/annoyances stacked on eachother.

Any advice if you struggle with this? I go to therapy and my therapist sucks so thats not helpful right now

So a few weeks ago i had a bout with a close friend of mine (autistic nb) who lashed at me because i wasn't supportive enough when they had a rough patch. I agree with this assessment mostly but pointed out to them that as im autistic i couldnt read the room and i was shut down that this is exactly a lot of autistic man's way to make excuses for not putting in any effort to improve their communication.

After that i did a bit of self exploration and i did recognize that i do actually have problems with this (though with reservations that aren't relevant here) and i feel like while most things i am completely able to communicate assertively and even proactively and have been praised for my emotional intelligence multiple times but this communication thing to me still feels like i am just playing cards in my head and my deck is completely unprepared for this scenario - someone going through it and needing support.

So does anyone have any resources (books/articles/anything i can read mostly cause im not a video person) i can start on this?

Hi all, I have autism, not ADHD (as far as I know), and I have some big issues when I'm waiting for things to happen. Like, say I have to go out at 5pm. I wake up at 10am, but I can't do anything all day because I'm waiting for the thing at 5pm to happen.

Anyone have similar experience/tips?

I’ve read about it, I think I get it in theory, but most of the time when I meditate it’s less “mindful” and more just “me trying to pay attention to things.” I’m watching my breath, or the feeling of my body, or whatever, but I’m not “mindful” of it, except maybe in brief flashes.

Am I just really bad at mindfulness and need a ton of practice? Is this just me underestimating how much practice I’ll need?

If you’ve tried meditating, how did it go for you?

I have seen the quoted take unironically upvoted here on Hexbear

I get that it's normal to do this because it's more polite, especially for when it's a constructive criticism, but it means that when you say "a little bit" it's unclear that you actually mean it.

Half the pharmacies in town are refusing to dispense my sister's lisdexamfetamine prescription because she doesn't have an existing "maintenance prescription" with that pharmacy.

They (presumably) don't want any patients who receive only a controlled substance from them for fear of the DEA accusing them of being a pill mill.

What if someone doesn't have any other prescriptions? Or they do but their regular pharmacy is out of stock? Every year it's some new bullshit.

I struggle even feeling like I deserve trying to improve. I'm so convinced I'm a horrible worthless person. Every memory is tinged by hate. I'm not even sure there's anything wrong with me mentally. I think this is the logical conclusion to a lifetime of misery and suffering. I'm relatively convinced that I actually am irredeemable and deserve death.

How do I stop feeling this way? Should I?

I fucking hate these people so much.