In a game I was recently playing, the chat lobby had someone that claimed to be a "BT," or "Behavioral Tech." He said that he loved his job because he saw working with autistic kids like "programming robots" then clarified "prompting AI."

I was disgusted enough that I said it'd be great if someone took a screenshot and sent it to their boss. The "BT" then said "lol my boss could (sic) care less, he hates the (I don't want to repeat the slur here so I won't) anyway."

I don't know what else to say but I feel horrible for the kids that are being seen as treat printers or robots to be programmed.

It is recommended that you use a VPN when you access TankieTube to protect your anonymity because your IP may be accessible to others while using the site

It's happening!! There is now a TankieTube channel that has started up which is dedicated to posting audiobooks for people who are neurodivergent.

This book is a real favourite with neurodivergent folks, especially if you struggle with energy, motivation, and executive dysfunction. The title says it all.

The book is quite short and it's divided up into succinct chapters so you don't have to dedicate hours upon hours to slog through it, especially if you happen to be struggling with finding enough time and energy to manage the basics.

Here's a summary of the book from the publisher:

When you are neurodivergent, have undiagnosed ADHD or are struggling with your mental or physical health, keeping on top of the laundry pile and tackling dishes in the sink can feel like climbing a mountain. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Licensed therapist KC Davis has been there. Having relearnt the basics of self-care after an adult diagnosis of ADHD, she is here to revolutionise the way you look after your home and your mind. This gentle guide to staying afloat when life is tough shares practical strategies to create a functional home, make your space work for you rather than against you, and treat yourself with more compassion and kindness.

KC’s philosophy: good enough is perfect. With her help, your home will feel like a sanctuary again.

KC Davis appears on social media here and there so if you want more advice from her then it's worth checking to see if she has an account on your platforms of choice. Supporting her in this way will help her reach a broader audience so even if you can't afford to support her work by purchasing it yourself, you can still contribute something back by helping to raise her profile in the media by following her if you find her advice helpful.

Note that as of posting this audiobook is still in the TankieTube transcription queue so if you encounter any bugs or glitches then give it a while and try coming back to it a bit later
(It is working on my end but ymmv)

Lately I’ve just had a fucking hair trigger on crying and if I ever do anything slightly wrong or upset my partner I feel such overwhelming guilt and start crying and then my partner feels worse for upsetting me and then I feel even worse.

Like, this morning we were having a totally normal conversation, but then I said something rude that I didn’t process correctly, she was hurt, and then instead of being normal about it I had a fucking breakdown. Which sucks for me and is really not fair to her.

If I mess up cooking food or planning an afternoon I become inconsolable. Especially if it was for my partner, like if I can’t do things right for her what is even the point. I think I’ve cried more days in the last two weeks than I haven’t.

Apparently it is not normal to constantly worry about failing to notice incremental shifts in one's moral principles such that one arrives at a repugnant perspective without realizing it

A heavily internalized OCD (I know there's "pure O" but there's discourse online about how that's a misleading term) seems to fit a lot of my behaviors. I have pretty frequent intrusive thoughts, heavily developed mental regimens I use to weather and regulate them, and then intrusive thoughts and doubts about having intrusive thoughts and doubts, which feels like it shouldn't be allowed.

Anybody else have stuff like this???

It’s like you’re super engaged and feel like you could do x forever until you suddenly crash. Then you’re bored for either a second or like a month (no rhyme or reason but the chaos in front of you) until the next thing comes along. But Godamn that boredom is real and often leads to sadness. I need a why to the whole thing

Christ I don’t know if this is relatable, but it explains a lot of my problems be it people I’m obsessed with for a sec and genuinely think I love or a different type of work assignment or a hobby of some kind

what im saying is what im saying, stop randomly jumping to conclusions, it's so confusing

if im asking you what you need me to do for you, i'm not trying to guilt you for needing things, im asking you what you need from me

god communication is so frustrating

I'm making a better effort to meditate, but I don't know if I'm doing it right. Focusing on my breathing and releasing thoughts is hard and if I relax too much, I fall asleep.

If you have related issues when meditating, have you found better ways to meditate or alternatives that give you similar results?

It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s that I literally do not know what to do. Like why do some people get hugs without initiating and just assume I don’t like hugs

Is this relatable whatsoever

I recently got prescribed aderall after explaining to my psychiatrist that I wanted a longer lasting stimulant rather than a short burst type. I’m on a somewhat large dose of Quitiapine that I take at night but I still feel the effects throughout the day which is extreme lethargy, I was always bed bound and because of this I felt more depressed as I didn’t accomplish much I would sleep around twelve hours and then stay in bed for the remainder of that day. After reporting this to my psychiatrist he put me on Ritalin and that really turned things around for me, at least for the first week. It had been the first time in about two months that I would shower everyday and go out, I went outside with a boost in my confidence, I even started taking my camera out after three years not touching it, I wore my hair long which I feel self conscious about but it didn’t matter because I felt pride in myself for the first time. The first few days were some of the best days I’ve had in my life in a long time and I was feeling very optimistic about my mental wellbeing and feeling like I was finally overcoming my conditions, but then I ran out of Ritalin and my doctor didn’t prescribe me any more, I guess because I didn’t ask but I think he was being more cautious considering I’m on an assortment of meds already and it was apparent that Ritalin changed me so much that he didn’t want me to acquire a dependence to it.

Ritalin wasn’t perfect though and I had a very alarming experience with the final few doses, when the medicine peaked it was great and I felt good but then when an hour passed I could feel normalcy creeping in and then a huge wave of lethargy that I can’t describe. It was almost like the medication was doing the opposite, or maybe it wasn’t the medication or a reaction to the others, whatever it was I was fairly concerned. Breathing felt hard and I couldn’t really move, I could if I really tried to but my heart rate was extremely low and I literally felt like I was kinda dying. I wasn’t dying obviously but I felt like that’s what it must feel before death where your body’s functions slowly expire one after the other. The labored breathing troubled me the most because it was kind of hard to catch breath, I was somewhat close to maybe calling an ambulance but I’ve been in situations in the past where I’ve called them over medication and I don’t want to feel the embarrassment or waste resources just over something temporary. I rode it out and after about four hours I was back to normal.

I told my psychiatrist that I was concerned with the effects and maybe I could try another type, he then asked if I would like to try aderall and I was all for it. This shit is no joke, I don’t feel the same concentration as I did with Ritalin but I am for the lack of better words, extremely wired when on it. For the past 48 hours I’ve had maybe 4 hours sleep and I’m not even phased by it, I am concerned as sleep is essential and my muscles ache but I don’t feel tired at all. I expect this to slowly subside the more I take it but I don’t exactly know how I feel about it. I’ve been needing clothes so I just impulse bought a few hundreds worth of new outfits, I have that confidence back but it isn’t exactly the same as it was on Ritalin, it’s almost like I have a clear vision of what to do to make my life better, but I don’t want to commit- except when it comes to buying clothes. On Ritalin I regained the passion I had for my previous interests but on aderall, I don’t really have that yet. It’s only been three days and even though I’ve been advised to take twenty mg I am sticking to ten because I don’t know what the fuck that would do to me.

I’m mostly concerned about my sleep but I guess a simple fix is breathing or taking melatonin, the good thing is it is helping counteract the quetiapine but the drug is almost working too well for an extreme duration of time. I take it in the morning and I only get to sleep at around 6am and then wake up in a few hours and I’m not feeling tired at all. Since this is just a trial I suppose I will stick it out and then see if it helps me more. Currently I rate it a 5/10 solely for the fact it gives me perspective on the things I should be doing. Impulse buying is bad, but it was necessary. Aderall kind of scares me to be honest it just feels so potent. If ritalin lasted the length aderall did I would be happy but it doesn’t. I don’t know how to feel about aderall but I guess from the amount I’ve rambled in this post it’s evident of the fact it kinda works.

I have an appointment with a psychiatrist that is probably going to suggest me to try a SRRI meds for seasonal depression and I’m a bit apprehensive to try it because I’m already on adderall for adhd. Does anyone have experience with this combination? I’ve read so far that it’s possible but that the breakdown rate is lower so I’d need to be on smaller dosage.

I will obviously talk with my psychiatrist about my worries but I’d just like to be prepared a bit because my experience with psychiatrists is that they’re really eager to get you on meds but don’t really give a lot of info on them.

I am open to try it because my seasonal depression is debilitating and I feel like I’ve exhausted all other options in trying to ease it without satisfying results (except moving but that’s not possible currently)

I’ve thought about the possibility of just not using the adderall in the winter while I take the ssri because maybe the ssri would alleviate some of the adhd symptoms.

Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

it's really become some nastybones business in the last couple few years. Like a totalizing thing that affects most of the things I do. In the course of writing this post I'm doing repetitions and that's just normal at this point. I frequently curate upvotes on my posts so they're not bad numbers. It's to the point where I have to go back and forth between tabs or closing and opening them to make sure it's not a bad number. It's even such that I am policing my motions with my hands so they're not bad. Even in the body of this post, I'm counting as much as I can in service of avoiding certain numbers of sentences or repetitions of words.

Anyway, how do you all experience this disease and how do you cope with it?

what're you choking down when you have to eat something to keep the pills down, and you have to take the pills

I tried taking doxycycline on an empty stomach yesterday and boy howdy, was that a bad decision – great ab workout though 😂🤢

last night, my new morning plan had been to have my Adderall when I wake up, some yogurt 2 hours later, then 2 hours later have toast and hummus or something with the doxycycline

great plan, except I don't usually eat this early, and I couldn't even get through half a cup of yogurt, which has been a lifelong safe food that I really really reeeeeally don't want to be put off

maybe skip the yogurt step and just shove a piece of bread down my throat? I already have a weird relationship with bread, I'm fine with being put off it for a while after this

on a totally unrelated note, you should definitely always wear bug repellent and check yourself for ticks when you come inside for the day

Two years ago I saw this this video about ADHD in adulthood through some post on hexbear and experienced a certain... feeling that there was puzzle piece missing to my utterly disjointed, disorganised, unmotivated life. Thank you to whoever posted that video. I owe you so much.

One and a half years ago I started going to a self help ADHD group in my town.

One year ago I got a lucky appointment by a new psychiatrist and started my diagnosis.

Two months later he confirmed my diagnosis and I got started on Elvanse (Vyvanse/Lisexamphetamine).

For the first time in my life I am not on a permanent collision course with whatever I am doing. I go to work, mostly on time and do it well. I can write an email or make an appointment without agonizing for hours. I do the dishes and clean my floor before it's disgusting. I only lost my wallet and phone once and even found them again. And I learn to structure and shape my surroundings and my schedule so that it works for me. I still fail often, but don't fall into the spiral of doom that would so often over take me, when failing before.

But the most important thing is this: I am not utterly miserable anymore when I wake up, agonizing over the day in front of me, over all the little tasks that seem insurmountable. I know it can be done, one step at a time. If not today then tomorrow.

Just had to get it out. If you wanna share or ask something about ADHD things, this could be a place.

Literally every time. If its in an enviroment with people I havent spoken to about it before at least.

I a long-winded way of saying “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.”

This irks me chat. This is an elephant in the room that should be causing mass chaos

Hey, I'm Leyla, moderator of /c/drugs and very knowledgeable on shit people put into their bodies. Someone the other day made a post questioning if supplements actually do anything. I think this is a very good question, there's a lot of marketing BS behind vitamins and minerals, it's difficult to separate the useful from the useless (and if it's useless, it's probably harmful in some ways). While there is a lot of marketing that deludes information, some supplements and vitamins are still quite helpful and worth investing in. The ones that are worth it are normally pretty cheap too. I'll order these from most universally applicable to least universally applicable, meaning the stuff on the top will probably apply to you, while the stuff at the bottom will be for more specific issues. Obviously I'll specify the issues in the paragraphs. Also, while I will provide sources for what I say, I will say that a lot of this is lived experience.

Vitamin B12

In my opinion, Vitamin B12 is the most important thing you should go pick up. You can get a month or two's supply at the dollar store, and is the one I have personally seen make the most difference in both myself and people around me. Here's an abstract that mentions the side effects of B12 deficiency. To put it into more understandable words, B12 deficiency is known to cause

• Apathy/Depression

• Irritability

• Dissociation

• Insomnia

• Low energy

• Visual and auditory hallucinations

• Paranoid delusions

• Failing memory

• There's also evidence that people with proper B12 supply in their body have lower rates of Alzheimers.

B12 deficiency has REALLY major side effects. This is especially true if you're a drinker or drug user, as most drugs (alcohol is a drug) run through B12 like crazy. However I know someone who is on the spectrum and fully straight edge (no drugs or alcohol besides caffeine pills), whose entire life and personality turned around after getting on B12. To be clear, I'm NOT saying B12 deficiency is sole cause of your issues in neurodivergence, but what I am saying is that B12 deficiency is enough to make those issues feel impossible to work through. Taking B12 regularly has reduced the amount I dissociate, I have way more energy and focus throughout the day, and my symptoms of schizophrenia have greatly improved. B12 didn't "cure" me being schizophrenic and autistic, I am who I am. But the effects of B12 deficiency were definitely weighing on me before I got back on it. If you only decide to pick up one thing from this guide, it should be this.

Edit: @LaGG_3@hexbear.net left a comment suggesting that vegans take extra care to take B12, as the diet is apparently low in B12. I'm not vegan so I can't speak from personal experience, but everything I look into seems to support this claim. If you question if you should take B12, the answer is you probably should. Worse case scenario, you just piss it out. Like I said, this isn't going to cure your depression and dissociation, but if you're struggling with those B12 certainly won't hurt.

@ReadFanon@hexbear.net wanted to add that if you're a whippit (nitrous) person, you extra need to be taking this or risk giving yourself MS via B12 deficiency. Seriously, drugs/alcohol users, take B12. I'm going back and adding this into every harm reduction guide I write because it's that important.

Magnesium

This is another one that's fairly cheap if you get the right one. Magnesium Oxide is dirt cheap and can be found at most dollar stores. If not, it's usually around $4 at grocery store pharmacies. Here's an NIH link on magnesium. To summarize the important parts of the link, magnesium deficiency is particularly common amongst

• People with GI issues like Chron's or Celiacs (high comorbidity with neurodivergence)
• People with diabetes
• People who are chronic drinkers/drug users
• Old people

The effects of magnesium deficiency are much less major than B12 deficiency, but still affect neurodivergent folk quite a bit. Chronic magnesium deficiency can cause major issues, but for the most part magnesium deficiency just makes you feel a baseline of sick with symptoms such as nausea/vomiting, and muscle weakness/fatigue. Full list of possible symptoms are as followed, with some marked as only being chronic issues

• Nausea and vomiting
• Low apetite
• Muscle tension and weakness
• Hypertension (high blood pressure, chronic issue)
• People with chronically low magnesium have a higher rate of developing type 2 diabetes
• People with migraine issues will have their issues made worse by magnesium deficiency

This isn't going to help mental issues directly, but it will help deal with physical symptoms that contribute to issues such as anxiety or irritability. The best thing I've learned going to AA meetings is ASPHALT (Anxious, stimulated, pain, hungry, angry, lonely, tired), an abbreviation that helps to check in on your physical and mental needs before you make any decisions. Magnesium helps quite a bit with the physical side of that list, it's also a CNS depressant so it can also help with anxiety, albeit not a silver bullet. Overall, if you're dealing with a lot of physical symptoms of anxiety such as a weak stomach or being shaky all the time, you should try magnesium.

One thing I will add to this is that other forms of magnesium are worth looking into. Personally, I prefer magnesium citrate, it seems to do better as a muscle relaxer. My B12 friend from the previous section loves magnesium taurate and vouches for that. Oxide is the cheapest pills you can get, but if you're really strapped for cash, I still haven't found a reason that unflavored/unscented epsom salt (straight magnesium) can't just be eaten. Edit: @ReadFanon@hexbear.net also wanted to mention that if you buy from local shops, you can buy the food grade stuff for real cheap, and that's safer than buying stuff for baths.

Vitamin D

The sun vitamin! Honestly we're on Hexbear, I could put this at the top of the list because of how little some of us go outside lol. Personally, I actually get very little from Vitamin D, but I know people that it did work quite well for. I'm probably able to absorb enough Vitamin D through the sun, but as I'll go into in the edit section, I'm not the rule. Vitamin D deficiency is known to cause

• Depression
• Fatigue
• Bone pain
• Muscle weakness/cramps

Most people I see taking Vitamin D are doing so as a supplement for depression, and I've seen it work for a few. Now personally? I still needed to get on an SSRI for my own mental health, it wasn't a silver bullet for depression. However, I did find that it helped quite a bit with fatigue and bone pain. Temporarily taking Vitamin D until I had the energy to go touch grass and get sunlight was helpful. This is one that I consider less important, but it certainly didn't hurt anything when I picked it up. The only reason I'm ranking it higher than some of the other solutions I'm about to list is because it's cheaper, and I've seen more testimony supporting it than other solutions

EDIT: @ReadFanon@hexbear.net has posted new information that makes part of what I said about Vitamin D inaccurate. Originally, I said if you get enough sun light during the day, you're probably fine, but ReadFanon provided an article that puts that into question. Like I said, I try to keep my posts as focused on my personal experience as possible, but I'm totally open to evidence that I'm wrong and will update my post accordingly. If you suffer from any of these symptoms, Vitamin D is cheap and worth giving a shot

Their specific comment because it's worth adding

I'm going to be a dissenting opinion on this based on this study and because it's my pet theory that the RDI for Vitamin D is lower than it should be.

If you're on a restricted diet/veg and you don't get a daily intake of Vitamin D rich/fortified foods then I'd strongly encourage you to consider supplementing this. Also kids - if you have kids then please supplement their Vitamin D intake because essentially it's understood that a lack of Vitamin D especially during childhood development is a major factor for developing multiple sclerosis later in life. A few dollars of prevention can save a ton of complications down the track.

L-theanine

This is the first weird one on this list, but I'm sure that the L-theanine users on this board can chime in and support it. L-theanine is the closest thing you can get to an anti-anxiety over the counter. This is the most expensive supplement on this list so far, but it's one that I can wholeheartedly recommend. It doesn't get you high, it just makes you less anxious and more relaxed. It's one of amino acids found in teas that make tea such a calming thing. If you're already a daily tea drinker, getting L-theanine might be redundant, but I personally prefer getting my L-theanine without caffeine. It's also helpful for sleep.

Edit: @Assian_Candor@hexbear.net gave some good advice on L-theanine, specifically on mixing it with caffeine. Comrade specifically suggests

Humble caffeine is missing from your list and is probably the most powerful OTC nootropic out there and has been a godsend for dealing with undiagnosed ADHD (one of these days I will work up the will to fill out the paperwork for testing .. I swear). Particularly when stacked with l-theanine at 1:2, which gives all the focus with none of the jitters. I would recommend taking l theanine standalone any time caffeine is ingested. If you have morning coffee and road rage on the way to work this advice is tailor made for you. 100/200 Combo pills are available out there for around 30c per dose

NAC

NAC is my most loaded suggestion here. For example, if you're a heavy drinker, don't even bother with it, it can make alcohol worse on your liver. But as someone who self medicated my neurodivergent traits with alcohol, downers, and cigs for a long time, NAC is insanely helpful for being off them. First off since I mentioned it, it helps quite a bit with the voice of addiction for cigs, alcohol and gabapentinoids. I don't find it helpful for other vices, but it's life saving for those addictions. It also helps quite a bit with my nail biting. NAC is chemically the closest thing to an actual downer on this list. It works to regulate glutemate (one of the downer parts of your brain) production by helping create other amino acids in your body that regulate it. This is especially good if you're recovering from long term downer use, such as getting off benzodiazapines or gabapentinoids. However, there is evidence that it's also helpful to people with schizophrenia and OCD separate from any previous drug use. If you self medicate with downers, I would definitely recommend doing more research into NAC, or you can leave a comment here with a question about it and I'll research it for you.

Conclusion

As always with my posts like these, if you have any questions, leave them in the comments. If I know the answer, I'll respond as soon as I see it, if I don't know the answer I'll research it and give you some sources to go along with it. I generally try to stick with my lived experience for answers though. There are a lot of supplements that are BS, and there are probably more that help that I didn't put in this list, so if you have anything you'd add, comment it and I'll edit the post to add it in <3

This can absolutely be done!

I'd strongly encourage people to veer towards Epsom salts that you buy from a homebrew shop or for tofu making as these will definitely be unscented but more importantly they will be food grade by necessity. I can get 9oz of food grade magnesium for $4 here and everything is expensive where I live. Sure I can get lower grade magnesium for $1.50/9oz but 250g (9oz) goes a long way when you're probably taking less than 0.5g a day; a 250g supply will last you in the vicinity of two years. Best to spend an extra couple of dollars here if you can spare it.

alt-text for thumbnail in case it embeds: it is an image of a queer flag with an infinity symbol, on a drawn wooden background with the words “autistic people mistaken for AI” on it

I keep getting TikTok ads and whenever I see the shop logo in the corner or “sponsored” I scroll away. They claim to help AuDHD but I have no idea what to trust.

I’m curious about mushrooms, lions mane or whatever, and microdosing hallucinogens.

As an AuDHD perfectionist I’ve never valued rest that much. I feel like I should be doing something interesting and being sedentary is bad for you. Recently I have realized the importance of resting as I have been exhausted by external demands and stimuli. I am at the point where even mostly lying around in my room all day, small demands and noises are too much. All I am able to really do is hyperfocus on my phone or maybe half attentively read. I know people can spend days in bed recovering from life, but I don’t have that time. I value this time not doing anything, but I’m afraid if I don’t get active or something I will have trouble falling asleep later. I know staying in your bed while awake disassociates it from getting ready to sleep so I have been lying elsewhere. Any tips? I have been eating. Are there comfy headphones that actually kill all the sound? Bc my ears do not want to process anything anymore.

And it has all kinds of implications and context and shit.

How the fuck am I supposed to tell what's just people doing things at random and what's a part of all-singing-all-dancing-shit-show the neurotypicals call "social norms"? Down with NTs.

Honestly while it's really fucking annoying that refusal to participate could result in some silly neuronormo interpreting a completely innocuous action as an offense, and it can cut you off from social shit, I think it's basically the only way. The same button never does the same thing twice. Screeching rn.

It’s just really really hard for me to accept I guess, but that quality is super important in climbing the fascist corporate ladder. Missed out a spot in the social hierarchy with my mega social awkwardness though

But yeah, preaching to the choir, but the higher you climb in corporate America, the less value you produce and the more you get paid.

Maybe we should skip unions and fast forward to finding like-minded people for well-regulated militias. Death to America

I am a lazy failure who can't do anything. Basic shit I consistently just... don't do. Its embarrassing. I don't even want to list all of it. I have hobby stuff I've wanted to for years that I've just never gotten set up. Homework? More like I'm not fucking doing that. I've been wanting to take steps for months to get myself on hormones and get clothes but have I done them? No? Of course not, because I'm fucking lazy. All I do is rot. Its been this way for a long time, I can't even remember when the last time I didn't struggle with this. And it doesn't feel like its getting better. If it really is my autism I'm not sure how it ever can get better.

alt-text for thumbnail since it embeds: it is an image of the autistic flag with an infinity symbol and multiple colored bars (i have a hard time telling them apart), on a drawn wooden background with the words "aspergers is abeist" on it

When I was a child, autism didn't exist. Obviously it did, but it wasn't in the DSM then. It was a fringe diagnosis.

I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I'd known early on that I want to crank out spreadsheets for 8 hours a day—for fun.

Anyway, I hope you folks get dealt a better hand than me, now that our condition is real and acknowledged.