The Onion

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The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

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founded 3 years ago
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listing: all - local
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Government directs Te Puni Kōkiri to conduct Māori Language Week in English (thecivilian.co.nz)
submitted 3 months ago by SomeoneSomewhere@lemmy.nz to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
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Migrant Steals Occupational Injury From Hard-Working American (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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'It's like living in a school zone,' Says Rattled Secret Service Agent Protecting Trump (www.duffelblog.com)
submitted 3 months ago by SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
16 comments fedilink
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Al Qaeda Marks 9/11 Anniversary with Honor Flight to New York (www.duffelblog.com)
submitted 3 months ago by SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
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Kamala Safe And In Stable Condition After Attempted Interview (babylonbee.com)
submitted 3 months ago by tux0r@feddit.org to c/theonion@midwest.social
14 comments fedilink
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Trump Warns Immigrants Taking All The Good Vanity Plates (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
10 comments fedilink
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How Trump Is Appealing To Women Voters (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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Employer Says It’s OK To Not Be OK But HR Will Probably Use You Not Being OK Against You (www.betootaadvocate.com)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
31 comments fedilink
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Country Musician Put Out of Work by AI Capable of Boot Licking Ten Times Faster (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
8 comments fedilink
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Man Asserts Being Conservative Divorced Dad Whose Kids Won’t Speak to Him Anymore is The New Punk Rock (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
31 comments fedilink
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Baby Boomers Leave Entire $78.55 Trillion Fortune To Single Spoiled Pomeranian (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by cypherpunks@lemmy.ml to c/theonion@midwest.social
18 comments fedilink
 
 

subtitled screenshot of Walter Sobchak (John Goodman) in the 1998 film The Big Lebowski saying to Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski (Jeff Bridges) "Secondly, this is a fucking show dog with fucking papers" as Donny Kerabatsos (Steve Buscemi) looks on

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Tim Walz Under Fire for Allegedly Inflating Bag Toss Score at Family BBQ in 1998 (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
56 comments fedilink
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9/11 Truther Questions Why There Were Two Huge Bullseyes Painted On Side Of Twin Towers (youtu.be)
submitted 3 months ago by treadful@lemmy.zip to c/theonion@midwest.social
1 comments fedilink
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Cop Worried Illegal Immigrants Eating Neighborhood Dogs He Planned on Shooting (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
17 comments fedilink
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The Onion Front Page: September 10, 2024 (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml to c/theonion@midwest.social
24 comments fedilink
 
 

https://theonion.com/todays-historic-front-page-september-10-2024/

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Trump Avoids Answering Hard Questions By Pretending He Shot In Ear Again (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
2 comments fedilink
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Kamala Harris Tells Donald Trump he Should Smile More (www.seahorseshoe.com)
submitted 3 months ago by ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
0 comments fedilink
 
 

“He should smile more” said a beaming Kamala Harris. “He travels by private jet, won the Donald Trump golf trophy this year, and was the guest of honor in his January 6th fundraising gala. Yet all we see him do is scowl. You get more flies with honey than vinegar.”

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Air Force One Makes Emergency Landing at Dairy Queen (www.duffelblog.com)
submitted 3 months ago by SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
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Cybertruck Owner Brags About High-Tech Pedal That Makes Vehicle Accelerate When Pressed (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
10 comments fedilink
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Apple’s Tim Cook to unveil reasons why your current iPhone is already a piece of shit (newsthump.com)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
45 comments fedilink
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'Trans People's Issues Alienate the Working Class,' Says Democrat Who's Never Met Either (reductress.com)
submitted 3 months ago by seahorse@midwest.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
120 comments fedilink
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Trump Campaign Powerless Against Group of Teenage Girls Saying "Ew" (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
35 comments fedilink
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Ezra Levant furious to discover he could have been getting money from Russia this whole time (www.thebeaverton.com)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
4 comments fedilink
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Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
12 comments fedilink
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Switchblade-Wielding Subway Rider Locked In Standoff With Penis-Wielding Subway Rider (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by Midnight@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
7 comments fedilink
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