The Onion

4695 readers

529 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social

109

Air Force One Makes Emergency Landing at Dairy Queen (www.duffelblog.com)

submitted 3 months ago by SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works to c/theonion@midwest.social

7 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 7 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 21 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Look, man, I've been there. One moment you're having a regular day, you get that little craving, and bam, you're in a DQ, covered in blood, Blizzard in hand.

[–] anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 months ago

Sons of bitches had it coming after they killed Orange Julius

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Do they still do the flips the blizzard upside down to show thickness when you are covered in blood?

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Of course. They don't even charge you for it! Wonderful experience, I recommend doing everything covered in blood. Also a great conversation starter!

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

The real life hacks are always in the reply.

[–] moistclump@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Covered in blizzard, blood in hand.

[–] perviouslyiner@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago