this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2023
87 points (89.9% liked)
Asklemmy
43950 readers
767 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Honestly, no one deserves to be ghosted. You should apologize and explain that you weren't ready for that sort of relationship. Maybe they will understand, maybe won't. At the end of the day, you gave them closure though.
Really? Because I've had to do it for my own safety.
If you have a legitimate safety concern then I can't see ghosting stopping them. Telling them it's over and you've involved the local law enforcement might be better to force them to understand it's over.
Look at it this way, do you feel like someone is likely to keep bothering you if they think you are dating or if they've gotten closure?
Also remember you don't have to tell them in person. A text or such is not a great way to break it off but explain you are concerned for your safety.
That said I see it as an option depending on the history and past history. Not for people who you went on 2 dates with and was like eh, no, kind of creepy. Instead people who have proven they are a safety issue. People who have hit you before.
That said people asking if it's okay to ghost people aren't in safety situations. Those people aren't thinking of how awkward it will be at work.
Cops don't do jack shit where I live.
Sure. At this point for me law enforcement is different than cops. People like your friends can enforce the law.
That said this kind of misses the point and is a redirection. The point is to forcefully tell them it's over.
If you are going to have problems with a person then either way telling them it's over or ghosting them isn't going change their actions.
However ghosting a person who didn't have intention to harm you is going to confuse them and likely have them bother you more. Because you aren't giving them an idea of your intent. Specially for neurodivergent people.