this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2023
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Cute, and forgive me for getting serious in a humor thread, but I can't stand how the term "incel" has come to functionally mean "any guy who exhibits entitlement towards women." I'm not blaming OP for this nor really anyone else, it's just a disappointing thing that's happened in society IMO. Incel started as a term for men who felt depressed about being unable to find a female partner, and the subreddit they created was originally a supportive space for them. Then it got taken over by angry misogynists and the term became associated with them, while the original group just kind of got forgotten about. That original group deserves attention and empathy as well as the term they coined; the latter group isn't even "involuntarily celibate," as they play a very big role in their own celibacy.
Anyway, sorry for ruining the mood if I have, I just think more people should give some thought to who that term originally belonged to.
It is not surprising that a community that associates and labels itself with a negative aspect of themselves would devolve into an irrational and hateful space. “Involuntary” means against one’s will, which in this context implies an entitlement to sex. No one is entitled to love and affection. And instead of working on themselves, or going outside, “incels” choose to feel bad on the internet and congregate and reinforce their beliefs when they should be meeting new people and socializing. The only social interaction they’re getting is from their classmates, many of which are physically active horny guys who are fucking lots of different girls and naturally that leads to envy. Most of these guys I guarantee are perfectly normal dudes, but they game all night as soon and they get home from school. It’s not uncommon for these guys to lose their virginity in their 20s when they start working for a living and the odds even out.
So, a community about depression or addiction is doomed to devolve into irrational hatred? I don't think I follow your logic here.
??? I definitely don't see how "involuntary" implies entitlement. It just means you want it, but for one reason or another haven't been able to get it. Entitlement reflects the attitude that you deserve it, which I don't think the term implies.
As for your characterization of the group, when I visited the subreddit years ago, I saw posts from men complaining about overwhelming anxiety stopping them from approaching women they were attracted to, feelings of low self-esteem or body/facial image issues, and even disabled men trying to contend with how their disabilities limited their options. You're probably right about some of them, but definitely not all of them.