this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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This could also be an issue of this:
The difference between empathy and sympathy
In my experience some people struggle with empathy a lot more than they realise. And the "solutions" they offer are just ways for them to try and get out of an uncomfortable conversation. There are better and more honest ways to do that.
I don't think she actually captured what sympathy is. And here's an counter point to empathy
I don't think he captured what empathy is. What he says honestly aligns more closely with sympathy by my understanding.
Sympathy involves understanding and feeling sorry for someone's situation, while empathy goes a step further, involving the ability to share and understand the emotions of another person. It's almost always a one on one connection. You're putting yourself in their shoes, personally.
Sympathy often includes a desire to offer solutions or assistance, while empathy is primarily about understanding and sharing emotions. Donating to a charity for the blind out of a sense of feeling sorry for them aligns more with sympathy, as it involves a compassionate response and a potential desire to provide support or solutions without necessarily fully understanding the blind individuals' emotional experiences. It's even less empathetic if you're primarily doing it to feel good. I would personally classify it as altruism or personal fulfilment based on sympathy for their suffering.
I do agree with the general point that you can usually get more done if you pick a lane, I just don't think the fact that people don't pick a lane, because they want to feel good for helping many different causes, is based on misguided empathy. And I think it's wrong to argue empathy is bad based on this premise.
Lastly, even if I'm entirely wrong and it is empathy, he's only arguing against empathy being bad on a societal level. That does not mean it's bad on a one on one level such as when talking to a friend, family member or partner. Arguing that ALL empathy is bad just because using empathy to make decisions on "how best to help the world" is bad is incredibly inaccurate.