this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2024
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Blahaj Lemmy Meta

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Blåhaj Lemmy is a Lemmy instance attached to blahaj.zone. This is a group for questions or discussions relevant to either instance.

founded 2 years ago
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Update: In light of the programming.dev update here https://programming.dev/post/8399272, the defederation is no longer going ahead.

However, something more needs to be said. Even here on Blahaj, some of our users took issue with the choice to defederate over this issue.

So I would like to give some background and context.

Blahaj Zone exists, because both Kaity and I left mainstream social media to escape transphobia. Reddit, with its lackluster approach to fighting transphobia, and twitter, with its outright celebration of transphobia pushed us here, to the fediverse, and to create Blahaj Zone and Blahaj Lemmy.

To that end, we will continue to treat transphobia seriously. Our goal is to create a space where gender diverse folk can exist and let our defenses down a little, where we don't have to worry about getting dragged in to an argument with a transphobe, or a bad faith actor "just asking questions".

If you are looking for a more reddit like experience, where in the interest of increased engagement, we let low level transphobia slide, and push responsibility for dealing with it on to community mods and individual users, then you will likely not be happy with blahaj going forward. If you choose to stay here, understand that we may defederate again in the future over similar issues.

The choice is yours.

======

It has recently been brought to my attention that the lead admin of programming.dev is engaging in ongoing transphobia.

You can see the conversation in question here https://programming.dev/comment/6131539

For that reason we will be defederating from programming.dev in 48 hours.

There are only three communities on that instance used by small number of our users, so this won't have a big impact, but if you are one of those users, you will need to use an alt account on another instance if you wish to access the communities.

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[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 18 points 10 months ago (11 children)

Eh... I'd say thats a bunch of personal attacks being thrown around with some transpobic wording because its a "good" attack point in a enraged debate.

[–] kristina@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (10 children)

What do you mean by this, can you cite a specific example in the thread? Trans people are allowed to be mad when encountering transphobia.

[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 3 points 10 months ago (9 children)
[–] kristina@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Ok, all of those are trans people responding to someone who misgendered a user and used transphobic talking points? You're allowed to be angry and make personal attacks against transphobes, transphobia itself is a personal attack against all trans people

[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

https://programming.dev/comment/6154322

This is your misgendering... Bro he literally showed that he didn't see it and i think its rather respectful to use they in that regard if you don't know...

[–] kristina@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

And he responded

Sorry, they really aren’t prominently displayed everywhere. And getting offended by it really isn’t helping your case here.

A sorry was enough, doubling down and complaining about trans people being offended is transphobia

[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 10 points 10 months ago

You don't need to be offended every time someone uses the wrong pronounce... Especially when you get proof that its not intentionally. Just say please adress me as [she/him/they...] and don't play victim over something that insignificant

He is right in saying that it ain't helping the case, wich is objectively correct.

[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 10 months ago

He was so close to deescalating and then doubled down on the escalation.

[–] kristina@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Everyone is bro. Bro is gender neutral. Be glad i dont Bruh you!

[–] kristina@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

nah, sis is a word. real dudebro moment

[–] CJOtheReal@ani.social 6 points 10 months ago

Making a difference between bro and sis makes it gendered. I bro gender neutral.

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