this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2024
12 points (73.1% liked)

Relationship Advice

2531 readers
1 users here now

Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!

The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.

Please make sure you read our rules before posting.

Rules:

Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.

1: Treat all users with respect. [!]

The goal of this community is helping OP and readers, not making fun of them. We are an inclusive community, any sort of disrespect towards ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc, will not be tolerated.

2: Mark sexual content as NSFW. [!]

Posts containing mentions or descriptions of sexual topics must be tagged as NSFW. This includes descriptions of sexual acts, requests for advice in the bedroom, explicit descriptions of your body and similar content.

3: All posts must be a request for advice.

All posts must be phrased as a request for advice or as a question. Sharing of stories, personal anecdotes, or past mistakes are only allowed if they're followed by a clear and relevant request for advice with the situation.

4: Provide sufficient and relevant information.

Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.

5: Comments must be on topic and relevant to OP.

Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.

6: This is a community for requesting advice, not moral judgement.

Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.

Reddit reposts are allowed.

As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115

How are rules enforced and bans applied?

For the most part, this community operates under the assumption that users are acting in good faith and should be given second-chances for their mistakes. Posts and comments with very light rule violations, or otherwise undesired but mostly harmless content, can be removed by a moderator on a case by case basis without any further punitive actions.

For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:

  • 1st violation: 72 hours ban + moderator warning via PMs.

  • 2nd violation: 1 week ~ 1 month ban + final warning via PMs.

  • 3rd violation: 1 month ~ permanent ban.

The goal of this system is making sure users are made aware of their behavior before being permanently banned, but also protecting the community from any rule violations.

Exceptions:

While the “3 strike” system will be applied to the majority of situations, rules marked with a [!] in the sidebar signifies a rule that, if violated in an intentional, malicious or significant way, can warrant an immediate permanent ban regardless of the number of previous violations. This includes severe disrespect to users or groups, dangerous content, and similar.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

A month ago I found out that my (30's ftm) live-in boyfriend of 3 years (30's m) was sexting with various guys and making plans to meet up. We fought, made up, and got into therapy. Things are slowly healing.

Today I found out that an old friend of his that he used to sext with before our relationship still sends him nudes regularly on snapchat. I found out because my bf had saved a bunch of them. My bf says that he never responds to them and so he didn't think it was an issue. I disagree - If anyone I knew irl ever sent me nudes I would immediately delete it, ask them not to send more, and tell my bf about it.

My question is, was his lack of action yet another instance of cheating?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] MudSkipperKisser@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’m not sure if cheating is the right word but it doesn't need to be defined behavior to be fucked up. It’s not okay. I don’t know the ins and outs of your relationship but from my personal perspective, I’ve been married 16 years, neither of us would ever allow this to happen without setting a boundary. It’s just disrespectful to your partner to let it go on. Plus it becomes a red flag as to what else they’re letting go on. If you’re in a committed relationship you deserve the respect that goes along with that.

[–] too_much_too_soon@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago

I'm with you. There are some things in life that are just obvious without having to be told. You don't go around punching workmates in the face and they don't specifically have to put that in the onboarding. You don't walk around a kid's playground with no pants. You don't continue to accept nudes from other people after you start a relationship.