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submitted 3 months ago by greencactus@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world

Hey y'all,

I'm a 19 year old psychology student in college (with the goal of becoming a therapist) and have been diagnosed last summer with autism (low support needs).

I think the fact that so many of my peers go to parties, drink and have fun, while it is too overstimulating for me, feels really bad. I can't go to a party without earplugs, beer tastes awful to me (and coffee as well - way too intense for my taste), as soon as there's blood in a movie I feel unconformable, and it just feels that everyone is able to do thing easily which for me are a real struggle.

I'm in a relationship, and my gf seems to be able to do all these things easier than me. Asides from the fact that she also has better grades than me, I just feel resentment and sadness that people around me seem to better than me in so many aspects. Of course we should focus on our strengths, and that we shouldn't compare ourselves to others. But in the end I still feel resentment that people around me are just able to do so many more things than me, and that things considered normal in our society are a struggle, if not outright impossible, for autistic people.

So I'd love some input on how y'all cope with the reality of not being able to participate in social life to the same extent as other people.

Thanks!

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[-] earlgrey0@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 months ago

Well my human, it sounds like you already know that your resentment and frustration is valid but not productive. There will be things you can’t do and it sucks. You seem to know that you cannot function in the “typical” social events listed above. Have you tried changing your approach so the activities are in an environment that you can control? If you can’t go to parties because they’re overstimulating, host a dinner party or game night with a smaller group of people. I wasn’t big on house parties either, but I was always able to find people willing to spend the afternoon hanging out in a kitchen with me while we were baking. One of my favorite Friday nights in college wasn’t spent at a bar, instead we all went to a climbing gym and then got pancakes at IHOP. Your social isn’t going to mirror those college movies, but that’s ok. You will find people willing to hang out, it’s just going to look a little different. :)

[-] timmy_dean_sausage@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

The ability to control the way I interact with a group setting/function is one of the many reasons I love online gaming. I've been a part of some really great communities that regularly hold a variety of online events, and it's such a great way to participate for people on the spectrum. Jump in and out whenever you want, mask/unmask however you want, sit and listen to the group without ever speaking if you want. No one will think twice about it. Plus, you have the added benefit of hanging with nerds from around the world that tend to be interesting people. Can't really recommend it enough.

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this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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Autism

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