35
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Murmur@lemm.ee to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

Her Majesty's Penitentiary inmate Devon Fitzpatrick says early one morning in mid-May he woke up and felt something moving in the crotch of his pants. When he reached in, he discovered a rat had given birth there.

top 4 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] CTDummy@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago

There are royal prisons? Even with the head of state I would have thought they would drop the “her majesty’s” from stuff like jail/prison.

[-] Mnemnosyne@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

Odd to me is Her Majesty's instead of His, considering Charles is now King.

Do these places just retain the gender of the ruling monarch at the time of their construction?

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Unless… just hear me out… they lock him up…

(‘Him’ being Old Sausage Fingers,)

[-] masquenox@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Her Majesty's Penitentiary inmate Devon Fitzpatrick says early one morning in mid-May Her Majesty's Penitentiary inmate Devon Fitzpatrick woke up and felt something moving in Her Majesty's Penitentiary's crotch of Her Majesty's Penitentiary's pants. When he reached in, he discovered Her Majesty's Penitentiary's rat had given birth there.

FTFT.

If they want to make it clear how thoroughly Her Majesty's (or whatever mutant inbred blue-blooded critter they've got on the throne now) ownership of this person is, I say they shouldn't be allowed to stop half-way.

this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
35 points (88.9% liked)

Not The Onion

11011 readers
211 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS