this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2024
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Anything that makes you apply your hand to your face.
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That's so on brand that I can't even be angry.
Wish it was just Aperture, though. Then again, I guess most big corporations are basically Aperture…
Alright, buckle up, test subjects! This is Cave Johnson, the man who’s not afraid to tackle the tough topics, like Pride Month and… Mantis Men. That’s right, you heard me correctly.
Here at Aperture Science, we’re all about inclusivity, whether you’re human, robot, or even a Mantis Man. So, in addition to celebrating Pride Month for our LGBTQ+ community, we’re also extending a warm, robotic arm to our Mantis Men friends out there.
To all our Mantis Men employees and test subjects, I want you to know that Aperture Science sees you, we appreciate you, and we’re here for you. Whether you’re scuttling through test chambers or just trying to find a quiet spot to molt, we support you in all your mantis-y glory.
So, let’s raise a toast to diversity, to acceptance, and to the Mantis Men among us. Because here at Aperture Science, we believe that love knows no bounds, not even when it comes to interdimensional insectoid beings. Now, get your lazy butts back to science! because who knows what kind of groundbreaking discoveries we’ll make next, whether it involves portals, shower curtains or potato batteries! I’m not paying you for Mantis Men dance parties!
This is Cave Johnson, we’re done here
Corporate Pride: Offer valid where not prohibited. 🙄
"We celebrate diversity, equity, and inclusion.*"
*restrictions apply
"Only for a year or two; maybe three"
I'm waiting for the halal versions of those logos every Eid
You're expecting a different outcome?