What kind of things do you like? Why don't you find some clubs or groups that you would find interesting?
this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
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I recognized I went a little crazy last week with some acquaintances. I'm going to ask them next week if it was ok. It's hard to ask, but you just gotta do it and own it when it's on you to improve.
I don't know about the rest, but I will say that having friends is absolutely worthwhile and worth pursuing.
Whether to stay at school or get a job, it sorta depends on your circumstances. What are you majoring? Are you interested in it? Are you taking on massive debt in the process? Will your education likely lead to career opportunities? You don't necessarily answer here, but these are definitely questions worth asking yourself.
Depending on circumstances, staying at university may be highly advantageous. It may be a place where you develop life-long friendships or meet people and network in ways that are later career-advantageous. It could also suck you into unnecessary debt without much perceived value when you're done. It's difficult to say, but worth considering before acting on a whim. Good luck!
What gives you the impression that others are badmouthing you? In cases like this, I have come to realize that it mostly boils down to indifference. People have their own lives and social circles to pay attention to, and as such their interactions with you would be neutral, which can seem cold.
If the above is the case, you're not ostracized, you just haven't found anyone to connect with (yet). I suggest you attend events, and hopefully you'll get to know someone better.
It comes from that I hear people talking bad about me. Like, saying that I am a freak (or similar).
Unless you can think of what could've caused this, I suggest you attend the seminars. If someone there doesn't like you just because you're you, that's their problem.
You won't like everyone you'll ever meet. And not everyone you meet will like you. And sometimes there will be actual dislike in the mix. It's just how life is.
Hmm, another person commented here that attending seminar is like outsider acting like an insider. How do you think about it?
Wow. People can be so cruel. Have you heard them say why they feel this way?
No, I don't think they explain anything about why.
That's savage. It's hard to address an issue if you don't know what it is. Any ideas?
People often dislike and fear what they don't understand. Self-care is really important, regular bathing and other hygiene (you're worth caring about). Also, walk with head high and shoulders back. Take up space. Use the central sidewalk, central doors. You're as worthy as anyone. To put it another way, don't dim your light so others seem brighter. If there are personal thought, word, deed habits that need addressing, be honest with yourself and address them. I don't know you, so I can't say.
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Please don't give up on making friends - you just haven't found your group yet and it may or may not be the same people you're with in University. See if there's a group nearby that shares an interest in an activity you enjoy. Give yourself a goal of trying 3 activities/groups and attend a few sessions. It's sometimes tempting to bail after a single session, so I'd try to stick with it a few times (unless you're absolutely certain you will never enjoy it).
As others in this thread have said, most other people are too busy and involved in their own lives to think that much about anyone else, so I suspect your concerns about people talking badly about you are very overblown. Don't let your insecurities fill in an imaginary void of what other people are thinking.
Being social is a skill and it takes time to hone, just like any other. You have to put in the time and be willing to put yourself in the vulnerable position of being around new people and accept that you're going to click with some better than others.
Friendships are vitally important to our mental health and I hope you don't give up on forging them. You just haven't found your circle yet, so keep trying!
I am basically autistic with ADHD, so I personally doubt that would work..
It never hurts to read "How to win friends and influence people".
I have to say, this book didn't do much for me.