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Do you have anything you care about? I take on volunteer tasks for causes I care about. Other people care about family, their workplace, etc. It just seems like you aren't strongly motivated by anything besides personal comfort?
Everyone values different things. Personally, I'm not quite ready for kids (even though I'm past the age where my parents had kids and some of my friends/colleagues my age have kids, I'm about your age), but I'm ready to take on more at work. I find it rewarding and I can make more money. And although money doesn't create happiness, it buys some dope shit. And not advancing at work just gets boring and repetitive. Ig it's like that urban legend about sharks needing to swim...
Money doesn't create happiness, but it definitely sets up an environment for it to thrive.
I don't like it when I don't have some challenges or goals in life, I don't like feeling like I'm just coasting along. I'll try a new sport etc so I have a project, and I do a bit of volunteer work towards getting people involved in sports I do.
Different people find joys in different things (some people get more out of charity than they put in)... and different people have a different capacity for stress and energy.
I think our culture teaches many of us that a good life means excelling and success in all facets of life. If you win everything, surely you would be happy!
IMO the trick is to realize that you have a budget for your attention and energy. Figure out what matters to you, not what you are supposed to care about. Figure out what future you will be glad you did.
For me, this involved leaning into some responsibilities that bring me joy (family, pets, learning for its own sake, hobbies, etc). It meant not putting as much mental energy into things that I’m supposed to be very concerned about because life reasons, but which are neutral to negative on my actual mental state (get into management, focus on learning job-related or money-making things, size of house/cars/yard, etc).
Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I work with great people. But at the same time, for a couple years now, I’ve spent more time thinking about upgrades to the pond in my back yard than my career development. And I wouldn’t be writing this if I wasn’t better for it.
Standard disclaimer: we are all different. Somebody who gets genuine fulfillment from hammering away at their career is not necessarily a bad thing.
this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024
385 points (93.8% liked)
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