Not *Not* the Onion

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As the infamous mushroom trial comes to a close at the same time as the coroner’s findings in the inquest into the killing of Kumanjayi Walker found that former constable Rolfe, who killed the Indigenous teen, is racist and so is police force’s systems; the media outlets who set up teams to cover the trial will now obviously shift those recourses to covering the police’s structural racism.

“We’ve shown that when we want to, we can have entire teams dedicated to covering people being killed,” said one newsroom editor, “it would be a failure of our duty as news outlets if we don’t give the same attention to the people being killed in police custody.”

“Plus, the there is way more to cover here considering the amount of police brutality we are seeing not just in the Northern Territory, but nationwide. So many more deaths, and while sure none of them involve beef wellington, it would be ridiculous if that mattered in our coverage.”

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The U.K. banned the possession of ninja swords in a bid to curb what it has called a “national knife crime crisis,” carrying a penalty of up to six months in jail for the possession of one. What do you think?

“Leaving them defenseless against the return of the Tokugawa shogunate?” -Joy Tenberg, Wildlife Promoter [...]

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