Asklemmy

Don't take my experience as a generality. It was not meant as such. As far as anxiety and stress: financial stability, moving to a new country, and therapy did it. I'm extremely priveleged to be able to have done those things.

But if i could have realized back when that i really needed therapy i could have faired a lot better. Societal concepts around masculinity and "manhood" played a big role too. You can't deal with your emotions if you can't interact with them. Which is what drove me to drink. I wouldn't need to deal with emotions if they had an off switch. I needed to remove a lot of the sources of pain before i could handle leaving the switch on even for a little bit.

It took two years since changing my situation before i was able to get a hold on my drinking.

For lots of people including myself bilogy plays a big role in alcoholism. I think for me, combating that is hard enough but manageable and easier the linger you maintain good habits. But for others that might not be the case and abstinence might make more sense. No shame in that.

In any case, try to find a therapist if you can afford it, and don't settle. Find someone who challenges you but you click well with. For lack of that find some volunteer or community org and dive in 100%. Any non-drinking social activity that gets you out of the house. (D&D, hiking trail work, food not bombs, etc...)