this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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[โ€“] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

No, no! To prevent these shootings it's obvious that removing every kid's trigger finger is the best solution. First we need companies to emerge that can receive these fingers and keep them alive and healthy until the kids are 21 years of age. We should also remove their penises. Sure we could teach sexual health but that's not something you want in school! Plus just imagine all the money ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘ to be made during the removal and reattachment procedures!!! There could be re-attachment ceremonies! And they're kids so you're bound to end up with extra fingers in case the 4th of July goes wrong or because the 4th of July went really wrong. And you can choose the orientation! Forget opposing thumbs! That was between us and the animals! Imagine opposing pointing fingers! What couldn't you do! What couldn't you do indeed!