this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2023
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Whatever comes of it—whether you get hurt, or whether you get suspended—you just need to lay your bullies out.
They won’t ignore you. They won’t go away, no matter how hard you work to be unnoticeable. It’s trying to do that—to be invisible so that they’ll leave you alone—that will change the course of your life for the worse. You won’t be a high achiever, you won’t go to a good school, you’ll just coast, forever suffering the damage they did, and regretting that you didn’t do anything about it.
The only thing they’ll understand is the kind of violence that says you’re not worth fucking with. Don’t worry what Mom will think. Don’t worry about the pain of a punch or two. Don’t worry about your “permanent record”. All that will be temporary in the grand scheme of things.
I am sorry to hear that. It is not your fault. It is the fault of the bullies who did it and it is the fault of the adults that did not protect you. You were just a child. You cannot be expected to solve something so difficult as bullying all by yourself. Many adults cannot even do that. Apparently, the adults in your environment could not solve it, so how could you be expected to do it?
Regretting it does not help. Regretting it just prolongs the pain. It just keeps the idea alive that it is somehow your own fault and that you had control. You did not have control. However, you do have control now.
If you still feel invisible, do something about it. You do not need to still keep suffering the damage. That is something you actually can do something about now.
I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you are well.