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this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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Star Trek
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Lisp. All is Lisp.
Data's entire consciousness was written as an Emacs package.
Klingons program in Brainfuck. A Warrior's Language!
Vulcans exclusively use APL.
The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.
Python is banned across the known galaxy. If your race is discovered using it, your planet is immediately bombarded until the entire crust is molten.
Cardassians use Haskell because they're evil.
You missed out Q Basic.
Holy shit you win, lol
That's what the Pakled use. The best of them actually use QuickBasic to "make it go faster".
If Ferengi were to use a language that old, you'd think it would be the COmmon Business-Oriented Language.
Just to add - obviously all Ferengi programs run on a Blockchain, and are riddled with microtransactions.
I'll just add that Data was previously built as a Vi plugin, but it was evil, so Doctor Soong disassembled it and shut it down. A lot of trouble could have been saved it Dr Soong had learned how to actually exit Vi.
Evil as in emacs evil-mode?
Pakleds use scratch
PHP was invented by a Pakled
Are you sure? They might have learned something then. Or did they get stuck with a turtle-logic compiler instead?
Hahaha, why no python?
The reason has been purged, intentionally forgotten. Vulcans train their entire lives to take on a dangerous task: once every 66 years, the very best of the best view the reason why Python is banned. Once viewed, the Vulcan confirms that it is indeed a just and necessary action to ban the ancient language.
After the task is complete, the Vulcan goes utterly, irretrievably insane and dies mere hours later.
It's clearly because someone had to work with the Python logging package. Or had to call subprocess.
Logging is fine, it's traitlets that I'm struggling with right now. Lack of comprehensive documentation means I have to read the source and that is taking me forever.
Interesting. Traitlets looks to Java-like (overly in love with objects) for my taste.
For typing, I've been reasonably happy with MyPy.
For everything else in Traitlets - well, that all sounds too OOP for my comfort.
Ooh, that's another reason to burn Python to the ground and never speak of it again - it supports multiple-inheritance.
I’m going with Vulcans using APL*. Why create a language that makes you do more than just write the equations?
@StillPaisleyCat @startrek Of *course* their programming language would require a special keyboard.
🤫
The Q continum uses forth.
No malbolge? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malbolge
@bloopernova Wouldn't the Vulcans prefer Prolog?
What about php