this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
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why jesus cakes hanging out
Also my money on the four armed elephant dude with an axe
Dude forgot to gird. Rookie mistake.
Go on.
Yes it looks like an iron axe, and God has a problem with Iron:
https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm
Judges 1:19
So the idea that God is almighty is pretty ridiculous, according to the Bible that is.
I never actually read much of the thing
I just assert that the burning bush was absolutely cannabis sativa, despite any solid evidence to the contrary. I don't care that it's not native to the region or whatever.
Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.
I can't claim to have much experience in the matter, but I don't think people who just chill generally have chariots fitted with iron. Like if your neighbor happened to have a tank and a bunker, would you say they're just chilling?
Plus they had already taken the hill country from presumable whoever was there. So if I’m in the plains country, I’m not gonna be super chill with these land takers all up in my shit.
Yeah once Phil takes his resperidone and valium combo he's chill as fuck
Wish his wife didn't poach more than half the valium though. Fucking rude as hell. I wanted some.
For the same reason as now - because Israel wanted their land.
No pants for serious mode
If we consider the Sistine Chapel's depiction of the realm of heaven to be divine inspiration, the clothes were added later after some complaints.
The whole concept of original sin is such that pure beings such as Adam and Eve did not even realize that they were naked until they ate the fruit of carnal knowledge.
Therefor it is canon that God likes to hang out with his wang out. Freeballin.
Also Jesus was a bottom
Do you think he was topping 12 dudes a night? They started a religion after him because he was nice not because he was a multiple cummer
So it totally makes sense for him to be flying cakes in a fight with a Hindu god
I'm not sure what your religion is but I regret to inform you that you're not going to the good place.
Based on having had to read that comment I would say we're already in the bad place
~Jesus Christ, probably
Is me not a multiple cummer? Why do they say Jesus will come again?
if Jesus is a top that changes everything
it means he really is daddy
Consider that the first time he broke out the superpowers was when a wedding didn't have booze. So he turned WATER INTO WINE. Just don't rule out him topping 12 dudes a night is all I'm saying. He brought the party.