this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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Cutting down the trees was out next biggest mistake. For example, the Europeans who colonized the US cut down 93% of the trees they found. They clear cut forests of giant oaks and blackwalnut trees. And we replaced all of that natural beauty with asphalt and endless urban sprawl.
Thank you. Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.
But we have also run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying on ship's peanut.
So in order to obviate this problem and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and...er, burn down all the forests. I think you'll all agree that's a sensible move under the circumstances.