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I actually clicked on the replace partition option on the installer, instead of a full disk wipe. The profile did look brand new once I managed to login in safe mode, but I didn't stay too long to check, as I just concluded hell, if it only boots in safe mode I might as well continue troubleshooting on the original install.
Anyway...After going back to the original image (as I had it backed up anyway), I paid a bit more attention at that weird popup on safe mode as I logged in, mentioning it failed to launch startlxde. So I ran
sudo dpkg --reconfigure sddm
And on the menu, for some reason sddm wasn't the first choice. After choosing it again, this time it went straight to the boot screen. Some other day I'll check again whichever random login menu is installed, and remove it, as it clearly causes issues.
Ah ha! Problem solved then. Nice troubleshooting skills!