this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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Captain Archer, tries very hard to be laid back but he's actually a prep school prick at heart. Smiles like he's running for congress. Beagle owning water polo enthusiast.
Charles "Trip" Tucker The Third. Chief engineer, catfish lover from Sarasota Florida before it's trenched by the Xindi. Kinda happy-go-lucky at first then turned real f'n broody because of course. He works out, ends up in his boxer briefs occasionally because "See, we've got stuff for the girls to look at too." Beefcake #1
Malcolm Reed, British tightass who basically has Worf's job. Spends a lot of an episode inventing the red alert because this series fully intends break into your home at night, hold you down, squat over your face and prequel right in your mouth. Also works out, ends up in his boxer briefs occasionally too, but he's a bit shorter. Beefcake #2
T'Pol. An attempt by Paramount to make the Seven of Nine lightning strike twice. Same stern humorless member of a conformist society who grows as a person from her outside perspective as a member of the ship's crew, now with even more blatant thirst bait. To their credit, they almost pulled it off. Cheesecake #1-6.
Hoshi Sato, Uhura but Asian and worse. She's the same brand of useless that Troi was. Mostly there so they could say "No, see, not all of the female cast was hired for how their nipples look in a grey tank top" but she ended up half naked a few times anyway. Cheesecake #7.
Travis Mayweather, helmsman, raised on a space ship by parents who are upset he took a job working on a space ship. Mostly just happy to be here.
Dr. Phlox, happy go lucky alien doctor, mostly used for comic relief though he delivered one of my favorite lines in all of Star Trek: "It is unethical to harm a patient; however I can inflict as much pain as I like." Overall deserved a better Trek series.