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What does the fear of being judged by others hold you back from doing that you would otherwise do? (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Thorny_Thicket@sopuli.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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To be fair I still do these things but only when I'm alone.

Personally I love finding big puddles and then dig drains with a stick or my heel and watch the water flow.

Also love to throw a piece of wood into water and then toss stones high up in the air and try hit it imagining it's a warship I'm trying to bomb.

Then also without going into details there are some pieces of clothing I would like to wear but don't because they're considered femine or gay.

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[–] cubedsteaks 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think I could get laid, but I’m worried I wouldn’t perform well in bed and that I’d be shamed for it.

You'd be surprised how many people are totally willing to work with you on something like that.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not at my age.

[–] cubedsteaks 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

are you really old or really young? Either way, I know I was always willing to work with whoever I was seeing even if they couldn't perform like they want to.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That’s good of you. My ex wouldn’t acknowledge the existence of any problems at all. Like, our sex sucked, and she said it was great, then went and cheated.

If she’d done what you do — acknowledge and help tackle the problem — it could have been awesome. But she just refused to acknowledge anything was wrong.

Your approach says “You’re not there but you can get there”.

Her approach said “You’re hopeless”.

Before that relationship my confidence was fine and I was fine too. It really did a number on my head to have her lie to me about something so important.

[–] cubedsteaks 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That’s good of you. My ex wouldn’t acknowledge the existence of any problems at all. Like, our sex sucked, and she said it was great, then went and cheated.

That's terrible and I know what you mean. I have had two different guys cheat on me cause they never really liked me to begin with.

And yeah, its so hard to trust anyone now because so many people come off as liars. Especially after being lied to about something so personal.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

One little bit at a time. Godspeed in healing your trust!

[–] cubedsteaks 1 points 1 year ago

thanks!