this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2024
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This is fair, though the reason we do it is to make sure the other person is okay enough to answer the question or talk about the thing first and if not we would want to help them out or take that into consideration.
Just asking the question feels rude or dismissive if they aren't doing well.
Sounds like a them problem
I don't really like seeing caring about others or folks feeling down as a 'problem'.
I don't think caring about other people is the problem. I think this particular manifestation is of dubious value, and in fact annoys enough people that someone made a website asking you to stop doing it.
Furthermore, if "Hey man what's up? Do you remember if there's lunch provided at this meeting?" is going to push them over the edge, then they're so close to a breaking point already that anything is going to do it.