this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2024
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[–] uis@lemm.ee 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's called serial monogamy and a real thing.

[–] Earflap@reddthat.com 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Serial monogamy (as I understand it) is jumping from short term relationship to short term relationship because of an inability to feel secure with your partner.

I'm talking about forming a meaningful bond with someone for a decade (or a bit longer) and when that relationship gets stale you move on.

Some animals are truly monogamous for life. It is effortless for them to stay together because that is how their brains are wired.

Humans are not like this or divorce and cheating would be practically unheard of. I just think that if we were really monogamous creatures it would be a lot easier to stay in a long term relationship. Instead, half of marriages fall apart after about a decade.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Have you included the years of exclusive dating prior to marriage? Or contrasted that with people that date for years without labeling it or getting married?

[–] Earflap@reddthat.com 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My dude this is a shitposting community I didn't put any thought at all into my comment. I'm just musing on some general ideas I think about. This isn't like, a well researched position or anything. But I'd guess the timer starts when you become exclusive and resets in major life events. If you just date then you get ten years before you want something else. If you get married before that, then that is the big exciting change and resets the clock. Then kids come along and resets it again but then you're all out of resets.

Bickering like an old married couple isn't just a meme.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Ok.

But now how does swinging factor into this? Humans are monke. Maybe we evolved to swing?

Edit: my name is going first on the research paper.

[–] Earflap@reddthat.com 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Swinging fits neatly into what I've described. You get new sexual partners, spread your genes around to more people/babies. With more babies with new people, the stagnation doesn't set in and so the desire to leave doesn't manifest in the same way. Now you've got me curious about the divorce rate for swingers.

my name is going first on the research paper.

Fair

Edit: the divorce rate among swingers is either 95% if you listen to pearl clutching Christians or "significantly lower than national average" if you listen to dubiously researched random articles from a search engine, so take what you will from that, I guess.