this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2025
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between the sounds of laughter of adults catching butterflies
This pill might fucking kill you
teeheeheee
It also might cause your eyes to explode
What if ads had to show side affects by law.
So like theres a guy with gut wrenching abdominal cramps audibly blowing liquid ass mulch into the toilet bowel while moaning painfully.
Scene cuts to he's smiling and cutting the grass in the front yard.
"sometimes, you have to smell the atrocious to really understand the positive"
shitting in agony, crying, the bowl soaked in sweat and tears, their hand and legs quivering
"that's why FuckYourself Maximum Dosage really starts your day off by ruining it in some of the worst suffering we have seen in clinical trials. it's not a side effect, it's a main one!"
'oh fuck make it STOP AAAAGGGHHHHHHH'
"after pinpointing the issue, we then turned the concoction up to 11! now when you are finally able to pick yourself up off the floor and wash yourself of feces, you can enjoy the rest of your day knowing that it can only get better from here"
smelling a lush garden full of flowers baking in sun rays, eyes closed and smiling, as a burning 747 goes down in the distance, and the scene fades with a nuclear bomb exploding
"FuckYourself Maximum Dosage; ask your doctor if it's right for you. Or an ex. Or a bastard boss. Don't be shy, we will prescribe it to anyone!"
fade to black
I'd rather they just ban the drug commercials. Talk to a doctor about medicine, and if you are unsure about what is determined, get a second opinion. Companies trying to sell their product directly to end users and ignoring the repercussions to the middlemen just causes more problems than the 9000 issues we already have in healthcare.
Absolutely this. Drug ads are a plague and need to stop.
Side effects may include death.
Or something weird like extra teeth.