https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactance_(psychology)
In psychology, reactance is an unpleasant motivational reaction to offers, persons, rules, regulations, advice, recommendations, information, nudges, and messages that are perceived to threaten or eliminate specific behavioral freedoms. Reactance occurs when an individual feels that an agent is attempting to limit one's choice of response and/or range of alternatives.
In my personal experience this is more of an issue with the commanding person rather than myself who's doing the chore.
If I where to take out the trash on my own accord nobody would even notice. But if I'm commanded to do it (even if I was planning on doing it anyway), then I wouldn't hear the end of it. It will be held over my head that they where so "generous" as to remind me.
So I have any reason to be grumpy about it. If I do it I get no reward, and if I'm commanded then I get shit on. I rather choose the first option.
For some people this is a game of power, they tell you to do something while you're already on it, just to make it seem like it was their idea and it feels like they are trying to essentially steal the credit for your effort.
Or if I'm the one who keeps the house clean and they are the one who leave a mess, and then they have the audacity to ask me to clean up, they can go eat sand.
This does not happen if I'm commanded by a person I respect or admire. Because then it seems like I'm actually doing them a favor instead of bowing to them.
I'm going to assume you were raised by at least one narcisist. This hits way too close to my childhood, and I've been out from under my parents' thumbs for well over a decade now.
Good luck getting out, and with the therapy that you seriously should look into. That I seriously need to schedule.