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what’s the difference of behaviors between a person with npd and just an asshole?
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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NPD and BPD are both driven by an eternal sucking void of insecurity and negative self-esteem that can never be filled.
Narcissists try to fill it with praise and social status, or failing that, power and subjugation.
Borderlines try to fill it with limerence and victimhood or failing that, revenge.
But it can't ever be filled - it's worse than addiction, worse than being underwater in some shitty MLM scheme. It takes and takes and takes because fuck you, pay me.
So they don't have friends or loved ones, they have hosts. They suck out all the goodness until there's nothing left to give, then they start in on the pain.
Assholes, in the other hand, are just driven by simple greed, callousness and lack of consideration. They can and do still hurt people of course, but it's not an all-consuming obsessive need.
Good thing is BPD is treatable with DBT. The therapy teaches them how to balance the rapidly shifting emotions, and how to break the feeling, judgement,action chain that drives their behaviours.
Treatable is an optimistic way to describe it. My therapist friend says it's virtually like starting from scratch with every session she does with a borderline, they're super resistant to treatment and have very poor insight.
Depends on the person, but yeah some therapists give up. The patient has to be willing to monitor themselves and mark their DBT skills card daily. If they put in no effort they get no result.