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My Bill Murray story:

I live in Austin, but I never go to SXSW because it's an absolute clusterfuck. Some time in the early 2010s, some friends managed to finally drag me out to a few free shows one year. We were getting drinks at this bar that had a bunch of bands playing, and after a while we see Bill Murray is behind the bar serving drinks. Like, actually Bill Murray. I didn't think it was him at first, because nobody seemed to even notice that Bill fuckin' Murray is tending bar right now. He definitely wasn't there when we walked in, but that's him right now, taking orders at the bar.

Though, "taking orders" may be generous. He'd hear your order. He'd nod his head, say "Comin' up", and pour you a shot of tequila. Doesn't matter what you actually ordered, he gave you tequila. Oh you wanted a whiskey sour? Sure thing, here's some tequila. Margarita with a lime wedge? You betcha, enjoy your tequila. Oh your table wants another round of Lone Stars? You betcha, six tequilas, on the way.

One of the bands got really angry with him, saying that he got them too drunk to play, and blamed him for ruining their set. Dude gets on the mic and says "I'm sorry you guys, y'all deserve better... but fuckin Bill Murray over there got us shitfaced!" And then Bill shouts from behind the bar "I don't even work here!"

Never went back to SXSW. Why would I, when it'd be impossible to top that experience?