this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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Microblog Memes

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“You cannot serve both God and money” (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago by kersploosh@sh.itjust.works to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
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[–] Englishgrinn@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

I love that story about the first New Testament baptismal. It's so weird to think that that person was (after a fashion) Nonbin. It conjures this weird scene to me where Jesus is in some kind of board room and the Apostles are bringing him polling data.

"Jesus, I know we have a mission statement. I know, I know. "Love thy neighbour" "Love everyone" "We're all Gods children". No, totally love that, very cutting edge. No, we're so onboard. I just think we really need to consider not loving some specific groups. Like, Nonbins, or Trans people, or the Gays. First century Judea is just not very progressive and some of these demographics are..."

Jesus flips whole fucking boardroom table

"What THE FUCK, Paul!? Are we going to have this fight every Dad-damned week? Listen to me. Listen. It's core to the brand. Do you understand me? The whole brand! We don't love SOME people. We don't love JUST the Hebrews, or JUST the Romans. EVERYBODY. If it's not EVERYBODY, then what the fuck are we doing here? Seriously.

It's the whole goddamn brand. I promised a "New Way". You want to take my vision - my divine purpose- and make it just like every other religion on the block. Totally dilute our entire brand image. Why would anyone choose the son of a carpenter, if I was going to be picky? Ok? That's the core question here. We are doing this for EVERYBODY.

No. No, of course I forgive you. I always forgive you. Just... get the fuck out and lay off the Queers."