Do you feel one group is more emotional? And is the belief that women are more emotional spread by men?
this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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I think the difference is actually between how each sex biologically regulates emotion.
We're essentially the same, the only difference being a tweak of brain chemistry and hormones.
Most of those differences affect mostly how and when we feel emotions.
So while there certainly are differences, we both feel the same feelings. It's just when we feel them, and the frequency in which we feel them, that differs.
For example: Men biologically produce more testosterone. So its much more likely they'll have quick tempers, constant arousal, and aggresive competition as a result. While these emotions are difficult to regulate, which is very commonly seen in young males, the persistent exposure to testosterone does eventually lead to better control over the emotions it amplifies. (Assuming these males are aging in a healthy environment).
Women, unquestionably, can have these same exact emotions. However, due to the lower levels of testosterone, the frequency in which these emotions are experienced are far less than men. Which means over time, these emotions are less likely to be easily regulated, simply because the chemicals that produce them aren't as persistently experienced.
That is, an older male in a frustrating situation is less likely to get angry simply because they've been getting angry their whole life and know how to better bury their anger because of it. While older females may not have experienced anger / testosterone as much, so in frustrating situations don't have the experience needed to know how to regulate their temper better.
Imo, this is why we have the term "Karen" with no male equivalent.
For biological women, they produce more estrogen (and some other cool shit) which is why they tend to have more friends (it's the social hormone), express sadness easier, and also nest-build / want to have children.
Likewise they become experts at these emotions as they age, but get tortured as young teens who have to feel these extreme things for the first time.
Men, likewise feel these emotions, but since it's far less frequent, also have issues controlling them. That's why men have less friends, fear crying in front of people, and take so long to know if they want kids.
They feel the same emotions, but far less frequently so they have no idea how to regulate them. Men treat their sadness like anger, bury it, then want their GF to also be their psychiatrist since they have no clue what to do with those feelings they bury.
Imo, that's why the trope of the insecure male seeking lover / therapist exists as well.
That's all to say, we feel the same things. Just in different amounts at different times. Depending on when you look, either sex could be viewed as "more emotional. "
Please read testosterone rex and delusions of gender both by Cordelia Fine to see that biological essentialism, especially about sex hormones, is often bunk.
I appreciate the suggestion. I'm familiar with these books. Imo, they both jump to conclusions about the large grey areas between what is and isn't bunk when it comes to sex hormones rather than admit we scientifically have no solid answers about those questions and are still looking.
I encourage you to have a good talk with any trans person that has transitioned. Their very valid and common experiences taking these hormones to transition heavily suggest otherwise.
As all it takes is those hormones, and your physical biology will change with them. (Men will grow breasts, and Women facial hair.) Which means unquestionably, that these hormones are tied to our biological sex, and likely the behaviour associated with it, seeing as our bodies have the flexibility to easily become the other gender with them.
We are trans and have transitioned on hormones (estrogen etc) and still hold the same views as what happened for us was not the hormones that made us less angry etc but more acceptance and understanding from both others and ourselves. We can still be very angry about certain things and express that in many ways but it is much less likely now because we learned the tools in order to deal with those things from partners, therapists etc in healthy ways, not because of hormones. We felt like we were allowed to cry etc.
Edit: You seem to be using very terfy/biologically essentialist talking points in other ways in saying that trans men are women and trans women are men and that those are the only sexes/genders that exist. Please do not do this as it is incorrect and comes across as transphobic and anti-science.
I am in no way a biological essentialist and am using simpler terms people are more familiar with to make my point.
I find it rather insulting that you would come to this conclusion after I readily explained how little our biology determines our identity, and how it can quite literally be changed through hormones, specifically:
End of my last comment:
How could that possibly come across as Terfy?
We are literally agreeing with each other about the trans experience too:
That is, you admit there has been a change in the frequency of your anger after transitioning, correct?
To be very clear: I'm not at all doubting the roles that acceptance, understanding, a good partner, therapists, and more have in regulating our emotions, or the extreme effort you have put into doing the same for yourself.
I'm simply saying: it is possible these hormones also contribute to our emotional state, specifically amplifying the emotions you already have as a person - rather than not affecting our emotional state at all as concluded by the books you mention.
Books, specifically, that actual Terfs OFTEN misquote to jump to a black and white conclusion about gender and hormones.
https://trans-express.lgbt/post/185913420710/on-how-terfs-misrepresent-science-and-feminism
Which is, admittedly, what I felt you were doing in your first comment. Specifically, in how you implied there's no grey area left in science that's still determining the influences our hormones have over our emotions.
Which, as of 2024, is starting to look unquestionably real:
https://www.broadwayclinic.com/article/how-are-mind-hormones-linked-to-emotional-shifts
Which is exactly what I've previously stated.
I have several people in my life that have likewise transitioned. I even know of someone that was born intersex, and transitioned to female in their late 20's.
Conversations with them have been enlightening, as most agree that hormones are at least a PART of the reason they too felt better about their emotional states after transitioning. To quote one in particular, "Anger juice (T) is no longer the only fuel this body takes."