We're currently short on rent because of her. I've got to somehow magick up $200 to cover rent until she can pay me (and the few people I've had to borrow money from) back on the 7th. I had to ask the landlord in the past and he was okay with it but increasingly less so, understandably. My name is on the lease and I'm the one responsible for this. She hasn't had a job for a while and I've been pestering her to fill out forms for income support or even apply but she was dragging her feet. Now combine that with the fact that I'm the only one who cleans in the house. For a year I've been asking her to clean dishes and she won't unless zero other options are presented. I've been asking her to turn the lights/fan off in the bathroom when she leaves and she doesn't. I've been asking her to take out garbage that's by the door when it's ready to go out and she doesn't. I've been asking her to contribute at all to the state of the house and she doesn't. I love her and I know she cares about me because there's a ton of other stuff that proves she does but I can't say that I'm not feeling INCREDIBLY used here. I don't know how to go about talking with her about this. When I have in the past she says to use post it notes because she's forgetful so I started and it works a couple of times and then that's it. I don't even know how the fuck i'm going to feed the cat this weekend. I've got enough to last a couple of days and fairly sure i've got wet food she's picky on but will eat for a couple more. She's in on a discord call with someone and I hear laughing occasionally. And like I'm not faulting her for being happy or shedding stress or anything. I've been posting memes today and making comments. But it just... I don't know.
I don't feel okay and I'm scared. Both of potentially being homeless, of losing a friend, of conflict, of everything.
Sorry for the randomness.
Back to your regularly scheduled clownery.
Edit: I got it sorted, rent wise anyway, thanks to the help and generosity of people I do not deserve to have the help of. Thank you so much and I'm sorry for whining...
Edit 2: the Internet just got cut off. She hasn't been paying her half on time or in full and I've been stretching it. I'm just laughing. Laughing and laughing and laughing while I genuinely debate whether it's even worth staying alive.
Your description sounds like you're a parent and she's a child. That may be accurate in the sense that all her life she had other people providing for her, and now she's make you be that person without your consent.
It sounds like you're past the point you need to make a change. A hard conversation with her has to be hand. Something like:
"I love you, but I simply don't have the resources to support two adults, and in trying, I'm drowning. As much as I love you, I can't afford this place we live in without a paying roommate. I've used all my resources to buy you time to become that paying roommate again, and I'm running on empty. I have to ask you to move your stuff out of your room as I'm advertising for a new roommate this week. Right now you still have a roof over your head. I can let you sleep on the couch for the next two weeks to give you some time to sort out a path forward for yourself, but you'll have to move most of your stuff out of the apartment and store it elsewhere. If there were another path I could see how we could keep doing what we're doing, I'd take it in a heartbeat, but I'm this close to being homeless myself even while still employed. I'm sorry it has to be this way and I've done everything I can to make it not so, but we're at a point where we have no other options."
I'm sorry you're going through this.
There are so many jokes about me being the dad in the relationship. "Thanks Dad" and stuff. It was funny at first and can be still but often it just feels... yeah. Like that.
I definitely need to have a conversation but that one isn't it. She's got one more chance. I've got to figure out how to do it. I don't want to live with another stranger but I also don't want to be in the position I am in now, messaging people I haven't talked to in YEARS begging to borrow $20.
Then you use the same message and change the wording to tell her that she has one more chance for all the listed reasons.
If you dont enforce your boundaries you will [continue to] be trampled upon.