cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/32871596
this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2025
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Mary cheats on her husband, gets pregnant, convinces the dumbass that it was some magic ghost that gave them a magic baby, and accidentally created a religion.
...woulda prevented a lot of problems had she just owned up to it >_<
I've read somewhere (don't remember where sorry about that) Mary wasn't a virgin, and Joseph was definitely Jesus' father until some much later time when some pope decided that sex with women was gross and tweaked the story.
Probably sooner than that. The "Pope" as we know it is an office that evolved later, though the Catholic church claims the line goes back to the Apostle Peter.
The stories in the gospels are a collection of stories that had been circulating orally among the first century Christians, and got written down mostly in the late second half of that century. Mary likely never claimed a virgin birth at all; that was invented by the oral tradition. Pretty much everything about Jesus childhood is made up to push certain religious narratives.
Which itself is sometimes interesting to follow. The whole census story behind Jesus birth, for instance, is almost certainly made up. Why would Rome require everyone to go back to their birth city to register? That's hugely disruptive to everyday life if people have to travel days or weeks just to fill out some paperwork. But why did they stick that in there? One good answer is that the particular group who wrote that section of the gospels--it doesn't appear in all of them--really wanted to connect Jesus to King David and Bethlehem, but everyone knows Jesus is from Nazareth. So they stick this convoluted census story in there to have a reason for Jesus to be born in Bethlehem instead of Nazareth.
Specifically from the prophecy from Micah
Source
Contextually, the entire book is one prophecy being given in the face of the Assyrian occupation (which was brought on by Ahaz begging for help.) Micah says that a figure will come from Bethlehem- because that's where David is from.
The key points are:
These are things that Hezekiah has done, mostly. The prophecy of Micah in general is a sort of justification for Hezekiah's reign- it was in fact written after he came to the throne and started doing all these things.
Remember that Jesus did none of the messianic things that they're supposed to have done.
and that... is why he rose from the dead and is coming back. he just had to run and get some milk from the grocery store.