this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2025
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There's a difference though. Women are not generally literally banned from online spaces, not any spaces I am aware of anyway. The spaces you're talking about may be hostile or misogynistic or otherwise unwelcoming to women, or might have emergent behavior that causes women's perspectives to be de-emphasized, but not "we literally don't allow women to post here."
What is the difference between an unwritten rule and a written rule if the effect is the same?
If anything the written rule is more fair, men here are asked not to post again and subsequently have posts removed. In other places, women are not simply asked not to post - they are harassed, brigaded, insulted, and threatened with murder and rape.
The effect is not the same. There is not even an unwritten rule to kick women out of the community. Women simply don't enjoy being in those spaces and generally leave voluntarily. Not everyone does though. There are women on 4chan, in gaming spaces, and all manner of generally-masculine-leaning spaces.
Please point me to a Lemmy community where women are asked not to post, brigaded, insulted, threatened with murder and rape. I have never been threatened with murder and rape for being a woman on lemmy. Granted, I have seen lemmites volley heinous insults and probably-not-actually-credible death threats over fairly minor political disagreements.
So, because it hasn't happened to you it doesn't exist?
I lurk on Lemmy 99.99% of the time because of previous experiences, this is my 5th username because when I first came over from Reddit I tried having the same attitude of getting stuck in to fun banter (which on Reddit did get me rape threats when I dared to post my honest opinion, but at that point I rolled with it), and several times I had men pick arguments with me over inane things which didn't seem to be a problem for men to talk about, especially on sh.it just.works
It's sucked the life out of my online involvement bit by bit, and this community is one of very few where I usually enjoy having conversations - something I credit with the ban on men posting.