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this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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A sign that the smartphone has reached maturity, I guess. People don't feel the imperative to upgrade any more. That's good for the planet!
Time to start development on rectal computers.
It's internet capable!
Does it have Bluetooth?
It's all about the vibration alert
Those are called remote controlled sex toys and already exist :)
Neuralink!
(Shudders)
Analink?
For an in depth analysis of your shit
Monitor your shit cycle with the new iFart
That could actually be useful (IBD gang)
Thats the fountain pen I keep in my butt
Isn't that essentially what that one chess player was accused of?
Those are called remote controlled sex toys and already exist :)
Wait.. a few days ago I read something about smart toilets using anal prints and internet connectivity. So rectal computers are not too far off.
I don't understand the use case of such an invention
For example you have a a bidet, and several people in your household. Each person likes the water temperature differenr, or their anus is in a different position. Usually, one has to configure those settings manually each time they poop. Well, no more with the anal print identifier (API). You can sit, relax and do your business, the API will read your anus print and adjust the temperature and water aim automatically.
Thank you!
I keep talking about how my API makes my defecation that much better and truly understands my shit better than I could have hoped for and my coworkers keep slowly backing away from me. I don't understand why they are so scared of what an API can do for them and the ease of their work on the toilet.