this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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Star Wars
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Time for a fucking reboot of the whole thing. It Batman can be rebooted 7 times then Star Wars can have one reboot. Start by reshooting eps 4-6. Keep 4 and 5 essentially the same but with modern digital capture and better effects. Tweak 6 to remove the ewok stupidity. Make massive changes to 1,2, and 3 to remove some of the suck (jar jar, bad acting, pointless characters, etc). Completely shitcan movies 7,8,9 and start over with a plot that isn’t retarded and doesn’t plagiarize 4-6.
Best I can do is rewrite all major characters but in a way that you dislike each and every one (R2 is the only exception), more Ewoks and Jar Jar and Ep. 7-9 are now heavily integrated into the rest of the anthology, basically pushing aside the Skywalkers. Oh yeah and special effects will be good.
Special effects will be modern, we make no promises they will be good.
You're hired.