Thanks for the advice, feeling a bit more hopeful now. In hindsight i shouldn't be making huge life decisions like suicide when im manic, sleep deprived, and psychotic but the urge feels so strong and the pain is too much. Idk, i guess having someone who loves me and won't leave me for being mentally ill or trans isn't as unnatainable of a goal as i think it is (hopefully).

[–] whodatdair@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I can understand that - sometimes the lows can feel super low, but they wouldn’t feel so low if there weren’t highs to compare them to. 😉

I know I’m giving a lot of unsolicited advice here, sorry! I have one more piece though - imho don’t focus on the actual act of finding a partner so hard. I think what has worked best for me was being open to relationships while working on myself. Fuckloads of therapy and putting effort into figuring out and dealing with all the twisted bullshit inside my own subconscious really made being in and keeping relationships less difficult. Finding a therapist you jive with is a godsend for that, and very worth the effort.

Also. For the record, it’s not abnormal to go through a bunch of relationships before you find the right person. Don’t feel alone in that, you aren’t.

You sound like a strong person, I think you have more of a chance than you give yourself credit for. Joo kan do eet! 😁

[–] 666@lib.lgbt 4 points 11 months ago

Thanks mate, also i do actually appreciate the advice. And of course i plan on just meeting people who i relate to and then progressing from friendhsip. Im gonna see a psychiatrist soon for ocd so that should help.