this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
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Just anecdotally from my own life, they become more like thinking back to a dream you had last night. There is a knowledge of, or a familiarity with the emotions, but a lack of definite certainty about the content. You know it's yours, you know what it meant, you know what you experienced, but without reality to guide you and only through memory. When you do experience the guidance of reality, through songs, words, sights, smells, then the clarity/intensity can also come back. And that doesn't fade or I wouldn't use that word, you can get so familiar to it that it isn't carrying the weight it once did. Loss feels like loss, shame like shame, love like love... It's not that it fades into nothing, or that the quality of it diminishes. It's more that you bought a summer coat but it's winter now, it's not needed anymore. Still beautiful, still wearable, still looking good on you, just that it isn't the right thing to wear right now.
Did it ever happen to you that you had a memory about something happening long time ago and than, when you thought about it you realized it was just a dream? Happened to me couple of times.
I think I do recognise the feeling. There isn't really a big difference remembering something that happened a long time ago or from a dream. There is when you get a physical reminder (smells in particular seem to be a strong trigger). Both dreams and memories work in the same way from the perspective of your own subjective experience. Especially dreams have a very hard time making physical memories, since your body is in rest. But when you're awake and especially when you're aroused in some way, your body connects the memories to the physical sensations. In this sense your body is a memory bank and it stores your life. Your body grows, cleans, encapsulates, expulses, incorporates, so do the connections change or get lost in pure subjective memory.
It's this that can explain why old memories and dreams can feel so much alike.
<3