this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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It's so wild how much I kept myself from meeting/talking to women and staying inside because I "knew" they wouldn't like me.
I worked up the nerve to ask a beautiful woman what she was doing after work, and this stunning 32 year old blonde actually blushed, she got nervous, and she invited me to her house where we hooked up. This gave me the confidence to ask another woman for her email address months later, and I've been happily married to that one for 14 years.
Well, this implies you are a very good looking guy to begin with.
I'm a fat guy, and at 27 I was a virgin who didn't shave or shower as often as I should, but one day I just decided to say "fuck it" and tried to look nice. I watched some instructional videos on how to shave correctly, got a good haircut, got some decent clothes from the thrift store that fit me well enough, started showering every day, took some standard pictures of myself doing various activities I enjoyed, and joined an online dating site.
On the dating site, I spent hours reading every girls entire profile, even if I wasn't fully attracted to some of them, just to get a sense of who they were and what they liked, and get some experience interacting with women; I sent each one a message that at least slightly referenced something from their profile. Most women never responded, and most that did stopped shortly thereafter, but after a couple weeks I was able to hold a few conversations, and schedule a few first dates. Within a few months I found a girl who responded, agreed to go on a date, and enjoyed herself enough to let me schedule a second. 6 years later, that woman is now my wife.
You can be ugly as sin and still improve yourself to an acceptable level in just a couple weeks if you really try. My face, chest, and back are still covered in pock marks from the terrible acne I had throughout my teens and twenties - it started clearing up when I started showering regularly, but the scars are permanent - but my wife loves me anyway. Every year or 2 I have to go up a pants size because I'm still unable to get my eating habits under control, but my wife loves me anyway. Hell, my dick's not very big and I mostly have to use other methods to get her off, but she appreciates the effort, and yes, she loves me anyway.
You might hate yourself - I know I did - but that doesn't mean nobody can love you. Even if you have no confidence, just go through the motions. Do what you think normal people do, and adjust as necessary if you come off as creepy at first. Make an effort and you'll see results over time, I promise. That one day when I said "fuck it" was the most pivotal day of my life.
I'm happy for you anon. And I'm glad you shared your piece. Hopefully others could learn that you need to take care of yourself first, be willing to learn about others and be original and be open minded, before start whining how the world is unfair to them, and nothing else can be done.