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this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
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Solarpunk
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Glad you made it over to slrpnk :)
I love that youre creating a story based around spreading fediverse principles.
I do think the lore works really well in your story. Fungus as an alternative mode of functioning works well in the setting you created for the story & parallels alternative communities like lemmy or irl collectives.
Maybe expanding some of the sections could help with grounding some of more abstract areas and would give more space for exposition to make the work more approachable for mainstream readers.
Thanks, glad you like it :) I'm also currently thinking of expanding parts 2-4 so it becomes more real and exciting.
Though sometimes I do wonder if it is easier to tell them about fungal networks rather than just explaining them how the Fediverse works technically. But for now I remain optimistic
Maybe you could have the druid character get kind of a introduction the the fungiverse after they eat the mushroom? Maybe their panicking, and a wise character sees it and brings them into the fold. It could even be the fungus chick who becomes the druids companion. Then it doesnt feel so exposition heavy, but still clues the reader into whats going on.
Also: if you want specific feedback, id be happy to annotate a copy of the story or something for you.
Edited to add: i would leave the metaphore to the fediverse as unspoken-- i think the allegory works well and directly stating that it is like this real world thing would break some of the magic & lessen the potential for the allegory to work on multiple levels.
I like druids from an asthetic point of view, although I don't want the Fungiverse to become something that you have to reach some kind of higher state of mind to join. It should be simple. You eat a mushroom and that's it, you're in. Druids could of course just be parts of myzels in the Fungiverse.
Thanks for the offer, though right now I'm reworking the story and there is much text flying around. Feedback is in general great, currently most helpful would be which parts are fun to read and which are boring.
Fully agree, for the new version of the story I'm also going to make a new title without Fungiverse in it. The story should speak for itself.
I was thinking the wise person wasnt necessary to join the fungiverse, more so that they explained some things. Like they arent necessary, just helpful. Just like how often people new to the fediverse need some help from existing members to get tips and information about it that they might not quite grasp at first.
Good luck on the edits! Im excited to read the next draft when its ready :)
Yeah ok, I get that. As long as it optional and not too pushy, I would be okay with that. Just a fan of self-exploration. But asking people can of course be a part of that.
Thanks, so far making good progress. Hope it will be ready soon :)