this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2023
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How to handle "you're too sensitive" and other similar remarks? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago by BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
41 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

I'm learning that being told "you're too sensitive" and other such remarks is considered gaslighting. However, as autistic individuals, we are known for being highly sensitive, both with perceptions and emotions. So, I find myself wondering if perhaps I need to consider that I am more sensitive than the general population and accommodate what I see as their insensitivity, dismissiveness, and blame-shifting.

How do you handle being told "you're too sensitive"?

What do you think would be a healthy response?

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[–] Raffster@kbin.social 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

There is no healthy response to gaslighting is what I have found, intentional or not. People will not change their perspective for you. Walk away.

[–] Streetdog@sh.itjust.works 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"Walk away."

While I have to agree 100% with what you say, because I have lived with that same motto for the last 40 years, it maybe ain't really a solution in the end.

You'll lose everyone (NT) you know because they are, at some point, all like this. So you'll end up alone running away from yourself. Then go crazy, unless you can provide for yourself.

I've abandoned most of my relations, personal and professional, for gaslighting me. I walked away so far I (literally) ended up on the other side of the planet. They still gaslighting me.

I don't have any advice, just a warning.

Interesting to see all the response here as I can relate to them so much.

[–] Raffster@kbin.social 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I am pretty far gone on that journey, have always known the consequences. Had to leave a marriage because of this, will not ever work a big job again (despite having multiple higher degrees) and willingly so. Will walk away from everything eventually. All because the alternative sucks so horribly that I prefer it this way.

[–] Streetdog@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago

Absolutely. Not having a something is (almost always) better than having "problems" with that something, incl. people.

I didn't know about my autism till recently, 40 years of age. Was "misdiagnosed" in the 90s, or my mom just didn't want to hear the diagnose when I was younger with the hope I'd turn out okay, despite my very clear struggling at school/work for 28 years, which was when and why I moved country, where I now similarly struggle.

So I do realize that cutting people off as easily as we want is just a symptom of ours. Even when angry, others (NT) will soon get over it, even if we (ND) still hold an extreme grudge. Even though it also feels extremely good to get rid of them, it's not a cure for this world, or our world.

I'm just trying to say it might be really hard for some people to cut others off, like I sure have done, and still have some "community" or support around them. To become self-sufficient, before turning to negative thoughts so to say. It sucks, and I know there is little help. Just tossing some virtual coins into the fountain here, wishing some youngster might get a better life than mine knowing what they're about to go up to. Despite all the gaslighting going on.

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Interesting to see all the response here as I can relate to them so much.

Same! I hadn't realized we were having similar experiences, but it's nice to know we're not alone.