Asklemmy

42629 readers

1618 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone

AdaShovelace@lemmy.ml

What are some of the things you say / think to yourself when going through a hard time or dealing with uncertainty to help yourself along? (reddthat.com)

submitted 1 year ago by WackyTabbacy42069@reddthat.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

42 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I noticed that I tend to think something along the lines of

Everything will be okay. And even if it's not, that's okay too. You'll get though this my love

The love bit was something I've been trying intentionally to instill. I've heard that positive self-talk can improve well being.

What do you think or say to yourself during those harder times?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] rusfairfax@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own. (Epictetus, Discourses 2.5.4–5).

I always go back to this task: is this “bad” situation something that I can control? If not, let it go - it is neither good nor bad. If yes, then how? Do the “how”. The “how” may be specific actions or they may be about controlling how I perceive the situation. If I perceive the situation negatively, work out how to perceive the situation positively. eg. Losing a job may be viewed as bad because of money issues or career issues but could be viewed positively as an opportunity to pursue passions. Perceptions are controllable so bend them to positive constructive ends.