this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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[TW: Hate] How have you dealt with real life experiences of hate and transphobia? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by Amelia_@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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Recently I have been struggling a little trying to accept and prepare for the consequences of coming out and exposing this very sensitive part of myself to the world. With the increase in hate crimes and anti-trans sentiment it is a very scary idea.

This was made even worse by a comment I found on Reddit today:

People ask why I bailed on transitioning. It’s not fun having your entire right to exist as a human being used as a political tool. It’s exhausting. I don’t want to have to spend my life justifying who I am to people who frankly don’t give a shit either way. They just want to hate me. 15 years ago nobody gave a toss which toilet I used in public. Today I’ll get spat on while waiting for a bus because I dared wear a dress. Not once in my life in this country till about 5 or 6 year ago did I ever feel scared for my safety for being who I am. I may be miserable now, but at least nobody is spitting on me anymore.

So I'd love to hear other's perspectives on what they've actually experienced and how they have dealt with it. I am sorry for raising such a painful topic but hopefully it can help people.

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[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Since the start I've said that if I get stabbed I'll be happy to die as myself.

I'm from a conservative countryside area in the Netherlands. I've heard terrible things from others but for me I've had endless support from people. Lots of love and care and often I have to stop people to tell them that I'm alright and that my experience offers way more positives than negatives.

The only people I've had real issues with weren't from the Netherlands, and it's exclusively young men who are clearly frustrated with life. Each time I've laughed with them and if it escalates I grab Google translate to tell them they are making fools of themselves. Works like a charm. But I seem to be lucky in this regard, as I have heard some terrible stories from others.

I've also decided to become smart and look up the law, and I've called the police to get some info. Apparently I'm allowed to record the situation if I feel threatened, but not allowed to share it publicly. Even a simple threat can mean jail time or other consequences.

So ya I can recommend doing the same. Try to get smart about your legal situation and see what leverage you do and don't have, so it is clear before anything happens.

Maybe my situation sounds rosy but honestly I am homeless and lost some important family contacts. I'm living in my office and I'm cold to the bone. Financially it is impossible to make things work. Due to unannounced construction work on my office I might lose my client and I had to sleep in 3 degrees. I've been misdiagnosed quite a bit and I'm afraid to find support. But you know I'm an optimist. The sunrise is still there and so are the stars. I saw a cute kid and a young dog ran up to me. I like writing poetry and making photos. I'd share one but Lemmy is a buggy gal.

To be frank if someone ever decides to get violent with me I just don't think it's such a huge deal compared to all the other crap haha.

[–] Marisacat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Gosh I hope you find some safety and security. I really feel for you, I've slept in the cold before and it's a fear you don't ever forget.

[–] xilliah@beehaw.org 1 points 11 months ago

Thanks. This apartment fell from heaven just last week. During a date of all things! I hope to move in early January already.

So I'm curious what happened to you?