this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2023
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Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It's not that I get mad and take it out on others, it's just the fact that I'm constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I'll get pissed that I didn't wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I'm cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, "well that sucks" and just get over it.

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[โ€“] axont@hexbear.net 1 points 11 months ago

it depends on what I'm getting mad at. For instance, I don't tend to argue/yell/confront people in real life. I only get mad at people if it's online. In real life if I can look into someone's eyes I'll feel different about it. If it's some racist person or someone being annoying, I look in their eyes and often see a little kid trying to rile people up, so I just feel sad. Or sometimes I'll see nothing in their eyes. If someone is pure evil, I just don't sense their soul anymore, so getting emotionally invested in them is like throwing a bucket of water into a black hole. Anger at them would go nowhere. I dismiss people like that, acknowledge what they are, and tell them to stop doing whatever they're doing. Don't say racist or transphobic or whatever stuff around me, simple as that, you know? usually being direct works the best. I have a 100% success rate so far, because people like that do get embarrassed easily if they're in public, trying to confide something bigoted with me, then I'm not having it.

Anger at situations though? I don't deal with that in a healthy way at all. I turn all of it into self-hatred. I blame myself for every problem I have. If there's a way out of doing that, I'd love to know, because this sucks.